Hilton Hotela Zaps for Christmas

This year has been financially kind to me, so my buddy "TheADONIS" suggested I buy a Russian Photon Zapper to experiment with, in addition to MH's fantastic Annointing Oils and other goodies that I have been SO pleased with. Here is my review:



I had heard about these for many years and knew getting a quality one was going to be tough. When MH told me that he had a deluxe model that emmitted light while inside the body, I figured this would be a good time to try out the ru SSKI e gadget and see what it was all about. When it arrived, I marveled at how much was crammed into such a small capsule. Two halves made out of hypo-allergenic stainless, seperated by a clear band of glass through which the lights glow and illuminate the GI tract, all powered by 2 small batteries. The wiring,batteries and lights are all clearly visible.



Taking the capsule out of its package, I noticed that as soon as my fingers touched the metal,Red and green lights began blinking, every 6 seconds, "how festive" I thought and with that I swallowed it.



The next 3 hours were uneventful and to tell the truth I forgot all about it slowly making its way through my body. I swallowed it around 10 in the morning and about 1PM I decided to go to the grocery store to get some oranges(big surprise). I was on my way home and all of the sudden I felt an electric shock. Not in my stomach, nor my intestines. No, what was being shocked was my LEFT TESTICLE.



Now remember, this thing zapps you automatically every 6 seconds, and I had no sooner gotten over my surprise(and gotten my vehicle back on the road after almost driving off it) when it shocked me again. Having forgotten momentarily that the capsule was inside me, on the 4th testicular electrification I actually yelled out "MY GOD, WHATS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!!!" then I remembered and after the 6th zapp it stopped and my left teste was saved from any more torture. My RIGHT one however...about an hour later I felt the exact same electrical shock running through me down there and it was at this point that I began to seriously become afraid of the last few inches of this devices journey. I have been around the block a few times but having my anus electrocuted has never been on my "List of things to do before I die".



So, now that my reproductive organs were being zapped to and fro and not knowing what else was awaiting me since I had only had this thing in me for 4 hours, I did the logical thing and... went Christmas shopping. Yay. I got about 20 feet from the entrance of Dillards when my right leg jerked out in front of me and the ZAPP returned! Pausing, I stood there hoping no one had seen me and 6 seconds later, my leg took off and jerked outwards again. My girlfriend looked at me and said "Is there something you want to tell me??" Not wanting her to think she was dating a man who was losing voluntary muscle control at inopportune places I took a minute and explained that I had swallowed the capsule she had been admiring the day before. She didnt think I would actually do it I guess. Listening patiently, she nodded her head and then expressed her true love for me: "I dont know you and I'm walking 10 feet behind you in there" she said, pointing to the store and with that she went through the door and our Electric Dillards adventure began.



I would like to say that everything went well and my epileptic like leg seizures didnt attract any attenion. I would like to say that I didnt begin laughing hysterically to myself everytime I felt the power surge running down my right hip and right leg.I would like to say my g/f stood by my side instead of increasing her distance to 20 feet from me. I would like to say I didnt keep laughing when my right leg shot out and knocked over a tall display of Teddy Bears dressed up like Santa, scattering them all over the aisle followed by the gasps of an elderly couple who probably thought I was Scrooge reincarnated. But I cant because all those things happened.



Well, we survived all that and nighttime came, I went to bed and had a great nights sleep. Put a few drops of MH's annointing oil on my noggin and drifted off to dreams of flying and whatnot. Good times! Then morning came. My g/f looked at me weird and I said "What?"



"You kicked me 5 times in the middle of the night"



"Sorry honey, its the zapper, I promise!"



The next day, Christmas Day to be exact,my zapper ended its journey in the porcelain throne. I turned to see if it had come out yet and I was, ironically, greeted by its green and red lights illuminating the remains of the previous days lunch and dinner, dutifully blinking away, a Christmas-like fecal bouy if you will. I removed it, scrubbed it completely clean, dunked it in pure OOO for 15 minutes and sat it on the desk in my office. My g/f looked at me and said "are you really going to eat that thing again?"



I went on to swallow it 4 times total. I am just fine, a really bad pain that I had in my side for 2 months is 99% gone and I feel GREAT. This is what self applied prevention is all about I guess. I think I just might order another one!



P.S. my g/f and I are still together.