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As you are finding its both a gift and a curse. You’re a natural empath. From your post it seems you need to learn how to recognise your emotions as opposed to others. Breathe in, and notice the direction of the energy. If its coming from out to within its theirs, within to without is yours, in the chest and usually light its true and good, in the guts its false and not good. You seem to have a natural gift for knowing, so try to tie this in with your body. X   [End]
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The smell thing, are you sure it wasn’t floral? Many say this is the Holy Spirit. Also, check out Mel Bond, Sid Roth and see if you think that is any help.   [End]
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If it was me I would tell someone like your parents first, you have to. She needs to get therapy or you need to get out of the relationship, this will never go away and will probably get worse and just ask yourself this, what if you ended up having kids together? I realise you have feelings for here but if she really loves you she will get therapy because if she doesn’t she could end up really hurting someone and then what would happen to her. You are stronger than you think and I personally wouldn’t want to be in a relationship I could not handle, it’s only the rest of your life but ...
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Hello my Fiancé Has borderline personality disorder and it has been really really really hard it has gotten to points were I feel like I have done somthing wrong between the name calling saying things that are my deep secrets that she knows hurts me the mood swings one min loving me and the next hating me I am so lost I have lost myself I feel so depressed and I can’t come out of it I am trying to be understand loving caring and feel like a human punching bag!!!! She has no sympathy towards my feelings and how bad she hurts me. No matter what I do it’s not good enough I love her and I ...
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Once again, the "holiday season" is upon us and abusers have available countless opportunities and excuses to perpetrate more frequent and severe episodes of domestic violence and abuse against their victims.  Domestic violence/abuse includes:  emotional violence, verbal violence, physical violence, religious/spiritual abuse, financial abuse, and sexual abuse.  Domestic violence and abuse has no cultural, religious, sexua| orientation, ethnic, or economic boundaries.  There is no stereotype or profile for domestic violence to ex ...
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I’m sorry that your friend is in this dreadful situation and that you are now a target.  Has the woman been diagnosed Borderline, or do her behaviors fit the desscription?  If she’s been diagnosed, it will not end well.  And, the only reason that I ask about diagnosis is that it would be important for him if he chooses to extract himself from this horrible situation. Your friend is in deep trouble and he is the only person who can help himself.  The only thing that you can really do are to protect yourself from this woman.  Block her from your FB prof ...
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Good Morning! I have been friends with someone who was in a relationship with a BPD partner. Two years ago, he broke up with her but cannot get her to leave his house. She knows of me but her reactions to what he does that she doesn’t control leaves him exhausted and feeling powerless. She will go into a rage and physically and mentally abuse him. She humiliates him on facebook and is now taunting me. Each rage seems to get worse but for whatever reason he is afraid to get the police involved. I see the facebook posts and others have confirmed this behavior of hers. He is not misle ...
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Well.......I did contact this woman via an assertive (NOT angry) written message to indicate to her that returning gifts and criticizing / complaining about what was gifted is 100% unacceptable in this country.  I also pointed out that grandparents are held in high esteem to do for their grandchildren as and how they can.  I stated that she needed to contact me using her own email account, or Skype account, or even using her own cell phone, but that my son should not be the go-between. I received an outrageous rant, this morning, from this woman.  It was accusatory, u ...
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Thanks so much, BlueRose - it just is what it is, and there is absolutely nothing that I can do.  Even contacting ICE won’t have much impact because they’re legally married, and that’s how she got into the U.S.  She didn’t come over on a work visa, and that’s enough of a red flag, right?  Now that she’s going to have a baby next month, that’ll be the final thing that she’ll need to finish her task. I did a lot of research on this when this woman’s behavior began to change, suddenly.  Of course, I was verrrrry dubious about the whole thing from the beginning, but ...
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Hi, SS I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this. Another poster suggested contacting the authorities with your concerns about this being a sham marriage. The appropriate agency to call is ICE. Other than that, there isn’t much more you can do. You expressed your concerns to your son and he didn’t take your advice. At least you tried---that’s the important part. ICE tends to take green card fraud seriously. Plus stories abound about men marrying a foreign woman who is only in it for the green card. These women, at some point, try to provoke the husband into as ...
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Thank you for the input, and I believe that I'm sticking with my intuition, here.  In the past 5 years, I've done some serious personal recovery and realignments of my personal beliefs and effort to remain objective.  The facts are the facts, and my youngest son is overwhelmed by the "possibility" that his sister-in-law "could be" a scammer.  He acknowledges that this woman is behaving very badly, and has behaved very badly in the past. Emotionally, I'm very sad about this situation - it's sad on every level and the baby is, indee ...
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Yes, I believe it to be a scam to bring her family over. The baby is probably not your sons anyway. The problem is the law won’t care who’s child it is. Nothing you can do other than tell your son what you think.   [End]
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I have seen this scenario too many times. She either is trying to scam you for money in the future or plans to bring her entire family to the US when she has her green card. In Jordan this happens all the time. You may just have to back away and allow your son to handle this and fall. Then help him stand up again afterwards. Sometimes we push too hard and lose our sons. I don’t get along with my son’s wife and she caused major problems and he like your son will choose the one he loves. It is illegal in the US to marry under false pretense. If she married illegally to just get ...
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To clarify:  after the woman had contacte my younger son, and myself, she deleted both her FB page and her Skype account, and now communicates with her mother in Russia via some sort of Russian Skype Equivalent. Suddenly, after the complaints, everything was wonderful. During the Skype and FB communications, she asked about my eldest son's past and steroid use and clearly stated that they had been trying to concieve a baby, but had been unsuccessful.  THEN, when she came up pregnant a few months ago, my eldest son said that the pregancy was completely unexpect ...
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Right.  I feel that I "know" that there is something seriously wrong, but I’d like feedback and insight just to affirm my intuition, on this. My eldest son has tried to make a turnaround, but he’s still Borderline, and always will be.  After his second marriage ended, he immediately hooked up with a young woman from Russia, online.  He claims that they met on a political chat board, but I don’t believe that any more than the moon is made of green cheese.  Regardless, he went to Moscow on 3 occasions to hook up with this woman and finally brought her ove ...
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Gift? Please explain.   [End]
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I know this is an old thread and the op may no longer be here, but I am replying anyway. Tortured, you sound normal to me, except the empathy is a little too heightened. I’d recommend visualizing an invisible shield around you before you go out to be among people until you learn to take a step back in your mind.   [End]
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Dear Onzy, It has been a while since you posted this, and I am curious. How you are doing? I asked about freezing eggs once, and was told it doesn’t work. They can freeze sperm, but not eggs. Wouldn’t you know it? As for what you should do... If you haven’t already made a decision, I vote for going back to school and a radical career change. Or starting your own business. Men are afraid of virgins and sex is horrible. Abstinence is not so bad. have long periods of it myself. Every time I decide I like it better than having a lover, the universe brings me someone irre ...
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I am a person who got married early, got divorced early, and swore I would not put my brand on another pony until I had taken him for a ride. I rode some ponies honey. 99% of the sex was bad. Now I am sixty and single. Abstinence is better than anything I’ve had yet. All men are afraid of virgins, unless they are into pedophilia. You are in a tight spot. Are you ogasmic? If not, buy a vibrator and figure it out. Hint: You have to hold your breath. Are you straight or bisexual? If you don’t know, find out.   [End]
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if she pulls it out when you get too close, you will have to stay away from her if you cannot do that you have work to do too and it is the core issue   [End]
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Don’t listen to me because I have a reputation for being crazier than bat shit, but I’d send a letter saying exactly all this to his lawyer and ask the lawyer to give it to him if he feels it would not be harassment to do so, and to please throw it away if it would be harassment, and invite the lawyer to read it first. Seems to me you need to prove that you are not out to harass this guy and it would be a two for one. If his lawyer gives him the letter, he will receive it without gloves. He will get the message as you wish. Then you will have to wait for him to call and give him plenty of ...
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Ham-cereal, I’m so sorry to read about your situation, and I’m sorrier that there are 3 children involved. Borderline ....... has she been diagnosed as borderline, or does she exhibit the symptoms?  There are specific dangers with regard to borderlines depending upon which cluster they fall into.  Some will threaten suicide while others will attempt suicide as a provocation.  Physical violence is not uncommon, regardless of gender. If you are done with this marriage, I would strongly encourage you to become involved in individual / private counseling.  A lot ...
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So I’m leaving my BPD wife, we’ve been married for almost 4 years, together for 8. We have three children together, 5, 3, and 4 months old. As a lot of you may have experienced, your SO with BPD might go through cycles of mood changes and their frequency and intensity will fluctuate depending on the person. Well my wife had been stuck in a cycle for a while, and I’d grown too accustomed to just keeping my mouth shut and not objecting to things I would normally, so as to not escalate an unnecessary blow up. So my wife lets our 3 year old do whatever she wants, including disrespect me, wal ...
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You are a psychic empath. Stay away from psychologists. They will just convince you that you are crazy. Go on line and go to Judith Orloff’s web site. She is a Psychiatrist who is also an empath. She gets it. http://drjudithorloff.com/ She has several books that would be helpful to you   [End]
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others call it empath, your not crazy that’s a gift, learn to use it.   [End]
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It is a Gift, Use it in a Positive Way.   [End]
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learn to empty your mind and relax, most of all pray.   [End]
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You are a lifegiver. You must destroy the destroyer. You must seek the Brightness. Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay. Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away. Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay. Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away. Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay. Know the beauty of the flower, and the desperation of the seed. Seek the Brightness sisters, send the men away. Seek the Brightness sisters, love will come to stay. And though men may lead you into darkness, know that you can always fi ...
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I am so sorry that I missed this post.  When you engaged in counseling, was there any assessment or diagnosis rendered?  What makes you believe that your wife is Borderline ?  How are your children coping with her behaviors?  What are the Borderline behaviors that you are observing?  I ask these questions because they are relavent to Borderline Personality Disorder, in general.  A person doesn't necessarily have to be Borderline to interfere with friendships or create subterfuge.  There are many, many personality disorders that can be attrib ...
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Valueachild, "happy" is not how I describe myself, in general terms.  "Happy" is a short-termed response to something pleasant, like seeing a chidl laugh in true mirth.  I am content .  I am centered .  I am feeling balanced more so than I have ever felt during my entire lifetime.  I will never, ever remarry.  I am perfectly okay on my own.  Are there times when I would like a partner?  Sure, there are - someone to "share" my moments with, but it's not an immediate feeling, nor is it a personal mandate.  M ...
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I have the same issues, what I can recommend is a therapist but stay away from the medications as that is evil and all about making record profits for pill companies. Secondly therapists only go so far, they do help by talking and getting an objective point of view but after 7 years of it I still have to rely on myself to heal. I would suggest by what is working for me so far, and that is showing compassion to receive it for your own problems. It’s very hard so start small, maybe small acts of kindness could be a way to experiment to see if it works for you. Lastly some things t ...
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To: Soulfulsurvivor: Thank you so much for your reply. DID YOU FIND SOMEONE AND REMARRY? ARE YOU HAPPY? Or are you single and lonely? Its been a few more months since I posted that and I still don’t feel as if I can move on. I believe I have intense abandonment issues and its painful EVERY single day. I only remember how good he was to me and all of the good memories. My mind refuses to let go. My first marriage was EASY to get over... this relationship is NOT. He tried SO HARD to be in a relationship with me, but when I told him I couldn’t do six more years because I had p ...
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Valueachild, I am so sorry for your experiences and I can identify with your desire to have a peaceful closure with this man.  The problem is that it's not going to happen, no matter what you do to facilitate it.  This is just a fact and observation, and not a criticism or anything rooted in malice, by any stretch of the imagination. You posted under the abuse forum, but also the "Borderline Personality" forum and, depending upon which cluster(s) this man falls under as per the diagnosis, Borderlines are " the most " dangerous personality disorder ...
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I had a bad breakup and recently realized that my BF behavior was due to BPD. I’ve studied it now for 2 months. He was so good to me for 6 years but would have inexplicable periods of binging on alcohol, feeling like he was going behind my back to speak with an ex, raging spells, some of which turned into DV and he would hurt me, 7 of the 9 traits including physical aches and pains, insomnia, racing thoughts, etc. I realize now I”m co-dependent. We’re both early 50s. I gave him 6 months to get help after a horrific rage and drunken binge where he choked me. After 6 mo. I hired an alcoho ...
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Hi, new to forum but not to BPD.I live with an untreated Borderline, and have for sixteen years. She is my wife and we have two children 13 and 15.I have always been able to navigate pretty well once I figured out what was going on and how to deal with it. Lately she has been able to keep us apart better than ever. I would like some help in setting a boundry with her on this subject. So a little history. One way that I have survived is to have friends away from her. Some are confidants, some are just friends. My wife found a conversation I had with someone I confided with and on my compute ...
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Onzy, Please read my story on how I fully cured myself of extreme depression and anxiety; http://www.curezone.org/forums/am.asp?i=2131051#i Your situation is very similar to mine and I believe their root causes are identical. Heavensky   [End]
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Onzy, I am so sorry to read most of your post - I didn't read the entire post because of length, but I got the gist. I disagree with WhiteShark's approach mainly because recovery and healing from a dysfunctional and traumatic childhood is a complete mind-body-spirit endeavor.  The mind is where the bulk of the issues arise because that was what suffered during your most impressionable years.  Was your mother ever diagnosed as Borderline?  If so, I am so, so sorry for you, and for the rest of your family - it is a dreadful disorder that can be cruel and war ...
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Onzy, have you read this: http://www.curezone.org/forums/s2.asp?f=27&c=14&ob=v Buy the way, based on your writing, I would say your ability to express yourself in writing is at the top 1% of curezone posters ... in other words, you are far more intelligent and far more educated than majority here. Forget doctors and therapists. Heal your inner body, and your depression will be past. Diet: eliminate 100% from your diet: - sugar - alcohol - vinegar - processed foods. Learn about candida! WS   [End]
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In my 35 years of life, this is the first time I am ever expressing my feelings. I have never spoken about my chronic sadness, fear and depression to anyone ever. ( please forgive my shabby grammar and disconnected thoughts. This is the best I could come up with in depression). My chronic anxiety, sadness and depression has progressed with time, and I am at the lowest point now.  Growing up with a difficult parent, my fear and anxiety started when I was about 5 yrs old, and subsequent mounting disappointments and failures in life as life progressed, led me to the ‘dead inside ...
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I’m new to this site, but that’s what I thought to when I read it. I thought that because I am one as well and have been since as far back as I can remember. I can remember back when I was very young, like 4 or 5, I ALWAYS knew right away when I met someone, if their intentions were good or bad - same with their character and integrity. And while I was a shy child who would never discuss that, well mainly because I didn’t know HOW to at that young age, I ALWAYS thought EVERYBODY was like that - I thought THAT was normal until I got a little older, like closer to 20 and I started realizing ...
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Which came first the hen or the egg? Which came first the brain chemical imbalance or the mental discomforts? Modern science clearly believes that it is the brain chemicals or lack thereof is what causes emotional issues. I strongly disagree. I speak from experience and experience I have witnessed with clients. Emotion in and of itself has power. It is the emotion that affects the brain chemical balances. Emotion that have been stuffed or ignored never die, they just go subconscious. So negative emotions will accumulate within the subconscious as heavy metals may accumulate in t ...
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I agree with you in everything   [End]
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SoulSurvivor, I Totally agree. Best wishes.   [End]
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SoulSurvivor, I just read your post and OMG! You could be writing my own very thoughts and words regarding where I’m at, my intentions and where I’m going on my healing journey. I also have a very long way to go, but I’m determined to get to where I need and want to be. That said, while its very painful and a daily struggle for me at the moment, life is about the journey, not the destination. Best wishes and good luck with your healing journey.   [End]
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Perfect. Wonderful piece of writing. Sound advice. Thank you. Warmest wishes to you SoulSurvivor.   [End]
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SoulSurvivor, thought it may be helpful to say here that, BPD is always the proper abbreviation used for Borderline Personality Disorder as NPD is Narcissistic. Sincere apologies, if that is not the case in this case. You very kindly replied to my first post some time ago, and I think you also assumed there, that when I’d wrote BPD, I meant Bipolar disorder. My husband had Borderline Personality Disorder - BPD. Although, I do appreciate that often when a person suffering any of the personality disorders, there can be overlapping disorders and traits involved, including Bipolar disorder ...
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SoulSurvivor, Absolutely 100% True. My husband of almost 25 years was high functioning, successful in business, had lots of spiritual knowledge and even practiced a variety of meditations regularly for many years, YET, he had very serious attachment issues and serious emotional instability when it came to conflict. Despite appearing to be so together in himself, highly intelligent and even aware and admitting he had a serious emotional issues he still refused to seek real help. The label doesn’t matter, it’s the behaviour which does, but he actually had BPD. I had no idea what I was deali ...
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SoulSurvivor, Thank you very much for your reply and post. I’m sorry to hear that you also had the soul shattering experience/s of being enmeshed with a partner or partners who are, let’s say, emotionally unstable. Shortly after I posted, my husband, who had serious attachment issues, (for which I became the trigger for all sorts of self harming and unacceptable reactive behaviour during any conflict) became unwell, was suddenly diagnosed with terminal cancer and sadly passed away very soon after. Yes, I do think Its going to take a little while to grieve, recover and heal from the entire ...
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I was trying to write a reply here and it deleted it-Bummer!!! I’ll try to replicate it. I just wanted you to know I completely understand where you are coming from. I had a very similar situation with a friend with BPD, although we were only friends for about 5 years. Everything you said spoke volumes to me. I really want to be empathetic about this disorder, especially since I’m a therapist, and I think I am. But I think this can interfere with my right to state how much I was hurt and negatively impacted by our friendship I really did go along with it for a long time. I really tr ...
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I don’t know how old these posts are but I can tell you that if anyone has a loved one with bpd they need to drop everything and get the book buy Valerie Porr - she also does a weekend workshop and an 8 week program in NYC - look up TARA   [End]
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I want to react to the thyroid part, you want her to get the right kind. Here are 2 links you should read. The 2nd link has also a link inside and read the article and the comments. http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=2192641 http://curezone.com/forums/fm.asp?i=2192701   [End]
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I’m very sorry for you, your wife, and all people who are affected. BPD does not - DOES NOT - have a ”cure,” and is only marginally managed IF the BPD person is willing to engage in some serious behavior modification. Even then, it’s typically so toxic to family members and friends that it’s ruinous. Best wishes for you and your wife.   [End]
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My wife was diagnosed with BPD many years ago and last year she had her thyroid removed (hyper) at the urging of 2 doctors. She is still dealing with the symptoms of BPD and her thyroid levels are still being fine tuned.   [End]
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Absolutely true. Perfectly put !!! Best wishes to you.   [End]
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hankyw, take care of yourself and I hope your healing journey is going well for you. All the best.   [End]
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Dear GettingBetter1206, sincere apologise for my very delayed reply. I have only just looked at the forum again for the first time this year and saw your lovely, warm comment and the other peoples comments. I want to say, thank you very very much for your post and especially for the hug. A big hug back to you. Your words are so true and I sincerely hope your user name is true for you now. I really do hope you are getting better. My husband was definitely high functioning and for the most part , during our entire marriage and nearly 25 years together, completely idealised me and treated ...
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Dear GettingBetter1206, sincere apologise for my very delayed reply. I have only just looked at the forum again for the first time this year and saw your lovely, warm comment and the other peoples comments. I want to say, thank you very very much for your post and especially for the hug. A big hug back to you. Your words are so true and I sincerely hope your user name is true for you now. I really do hope you are getting better. My husband was definitely high functioning and for the most part , during our entire marriage and nearly 25 years together, completely idealised me and treated ...
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If she calls, use the iPhone ringtone from iTunes called :Get Some Therapy” by Kimmy T.   [End]
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There is a Universe of difference between "inner happiness" and malicious glee. True personal happiness is fleeting and the inner calm is contentment - a balance on the Bell Curve of the Happiness Scale. Malicious glee is the delight that toxic people experience when they wreak their havoc.  It's not happiness, by any stretch of the imagination, because it is borne of ill-will and malice.    [End]
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My personal view on this simple question is based upon over half a century of Life experiences with toxic individuals, as well as positive and emotionally healthy ones.  I don't believe that a malignant narcissist is ever "happy" within themselves.  "Happy" is a relative term with a continuum based upon endless things.  As an example, a person can be "happy" that they got a great deal on an automobile.  They can also be "happy" when their prized roses bloom.  They can also be "happy" when they purchase ...
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This post is very encouraging and upbuilding to me. I truly appreciate reading this post. Thank you... It’s natural for humans to desire and crave for justice, which is why it’s so difficult to accept and/or tolerate injustice. My boss is an extreme Narcissist and I cannot help but wonder whether or not she’s truly happy within herself. Please give me your opinion. Can a Narcissistic person be truly happy within? Thanks in advance.   [End]
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Thanks again, My first real relationship was with a guy who cheated and I left him . I was then married for many years to a man that was initially a good husband and father but over the years due to growing apart and his job being very unfamily friendly eventually we ended up existing and then splitting after 13 years together. At the moment I am not the least bit interested in a relationship, if that changes I can’t imagine being so unlucky as to meet another mentally ill man and if I did then I would definitely not persue the relationship. You mention your parents relationship and ...
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To me, it’s a horrible trade off to put up with physical violence in order to have some fun times. My father used to put up with my mother. She was verbally and emotionally abusive, and sometimes physically abusive. He never stood up for us kids when we were on the receiving end of her wrath. Instead, he would tell us not to argue with her because when we did, she would yell at him later. One day, my husband and I were talking and I wondered why my father put up with this treatment. My husband said that for my father, there had to be a trade-off. My mother would wait on him hand ...
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The latest is that my lawyer friend has taken over and is going to try and sort everything out for me hopefully I will get some money to pay for my dental and plastic surgery costs. I don’t doubt that having received significant damage to my teeth and mouth and having to finally admit that I can not be with the man I loved will have some psychological effect but at the moment I do not feel I need any medical help for that. What I need is finance for good plastic surgery and dental treatment. I was quite depressed for the first few weeks after this happened but am now feeling a lot bet ...
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Is it fair and correct to suggest that a victim has psychological issues? --------------- It depends. A crime victim, who for example, got mugged or attacked may have been an emotionally healthy person before the crime occurred. However,anyone who has experienced a trauma, does get affected mentally by the experience to some degree. People with low self-esteem and low self-confidence often do get into toxic relationships. I grew up being verbally and emotionally abused and for years I was attracted to people who treated me that way. It took time for me to realize what was happening ...
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I have just found this thread and realise its old, I hope that the OP has found some happiness for himself and his son. As a victim of physical abuse from my BPD ex boyfriend I found the comments so helpful and reassuring that I the conclusions I had come to were correct. Thanks for the posts.   [End]
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Thanks for your reply, I still dont think I have low self esteem, maybe there is some psychological reason why I didn’t see sence earlier but I didn’t consider myself unattractive or unloveable in any way. I can only say that I felt the nice side, which I thought was the real him is possıbly in reality another symptom of BPD , was worth it and was unrealistic in my belief that I was strong enough to make it work. Certainly when he was verbally nasty it was frustrating but I never believed that I was bad, stupid or ugly or any other negative characteristic he tried to convince me I was ...
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Sorry to hear this. You say that you don’t suffer from low self-esteem. I beg to differ. With better self-esteem, you would have been aware that you didn’t have to put up with him and would have moved on. Too many people (male and female) feel that if they were to dump a bad person, that they would always be alone. You fell into the trap of thinking --- If I did______ then he will be happy and won’t abuse me again. Thus you allowed the vicious cycle to continue. My goodness! When you heard that he was convicted of manslaughter, you should have run for the hills! Is he now ...
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B and D are overrated consonants anyway. pics?   [End]
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I have just found this forum and thought I would share my story in the hope that it would be a warning and also maybe I may get some advice. I have been wıth a man for over 3 and a half years that I loved very much and believed he loved me. Early on in the relationship he told me that he had been a cocaıne addict and had served 6 years for the manslaughter on diminished responsibiliyies of his wife. I guess most people would have run for the hills but I suppose his honesty and the fact that I was so strongly attracted to him or maybe just plain stupidity culminated in me conti ...
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Dear Finally Free, Wish I could reach out and hug you... I so understand. In the end they make you feel like the crazy ones, especially if they are high functioning, because to the regular world they are ok most of the time.. I wish you future happiness, and the others on this link. We have so much to give just need the right recipient.. We must know and understand as we read the similarities... that the ones we loved have this and we must heal ourselves now. We have a chance to be happy, they sadly don’t unless they wake up and make the serious effort to get mentally well.   [End]
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Hi, I am very interested in this subject, too. My mother displays all of the narcissistic traits. She also has a Grave’s disease and hyperthyroidism. Recently she developed goiter. It all worsens very much when she’s in stress and the symptoms nearly disappear when she relaxes for a longer period of time. She is very critical, perfectionist and believes she has to be always right, and she’s extremely defensive. Her father was kind of brutal and very strict, and her mother was very submissive. She has a friend who is very similar to her in personality. She also went for hyperthyroid tr ...
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FinallyFree, one of the most glaring facts about Bipolar Disorder is that is typically NOT the only diagnosis possible. Most individuals with BPD also have other personality disorders. What the diagnosis is doesn’t alter the individual’s toxicity to others, whether they are spouses, children, coworkers, friends, and extended family. For more information on this, visit www.180rule.com. This is a dreadful situation to emerge from and I’ve been married and divorced 2 very disordered people. The process of victim recovery is very, very challenging and you can visit my CureZone blog, ” ...
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Thank you very much for your post, which you articulated with real perfection, I agree totally 100% with everything you said. You could have been reading my mind and speaking my very words. I have recently separated from my husband after 24years together, and have only recently, since our horrendous final break up, learnt that he has Bpd. It is, as you rightly said all about them. Me me me and more me. Even at the very end when I was in excruciating pain having to end our marriage. Despite, him refusing to get the help he needed and repeatedly failing to take responsibility fo ...
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This, I understand your outrage with the subject matter, but there are, indeed, children born into this world that make horrible decisions regardless of whether ”bad parenting” exists, or not. I also get the sense that you are very angry with your own parents and that you do not have children of your own, yet. Bringing a child into the world is not, by any stretch of the imagination, a simple commitment. Raising a child is a 24/7 job that can result in beautiful and amazing experiences, or absolute frustration. And, there’s no way of knowing how the dice are going to roll. What we ...
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It ends when an inadequate parent, such as I had, finally gets honest enough to admit that they, not their kid, are the problem and sets about to CORRECT their bad, damaging and inadequate parenting BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE. It ends when a parent learns how to be a good parent. Bad parenting is the problem - not bad kids!   [End]
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Southern Belle, for whatever reason the FCKeditor and TinyMCE Editor are non-functional and I just lost my response to your response. UGH!! That children are as different from one another as night and day is a challenge, to be sure, but one of the delightful aspects of humanity. Wouldn’t it be a dull world if they weren’t unique? LOL Familyarrested.com is a site that was created specifically to educate and support parents of children (minor OR adult) who could be defined as ”difficult.” Either the child exhibits symptoms of personality disorder, or they have been charged/imprison ...
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Good information! I have always wondered how a parent can have two or more children, raise them under the same roof and each one is sooooooooooo different! (I know because I have two and they are different as night and day.....both are great adults and I am grateful and love them dearly.)   [End]
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So, you know something isn’t right about your child. They throw tantrums, threaten your safety, harm their siblings, act out in classrooms and in public. Your proverbial hands are tied. If you implement corporal punishment, you’re a ”bad” parent for inflicting violence upon your child. If you set boundaries and consequences, it’s tedious to stay on top of the issues. If you do nothing, you know that they’re not going to ”grow out of it.” Notes from the school, calls from parents, and now your child is a defendant on the Juvenile Court docket for shoplifting? When does it END?! ...
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yes astrology is a science and i am also believe in astrology   [End]
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You are an empath. You are not crazy. You have a gift. http://www.empathguide.com/Am-I-An-Empath.html   [End]
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Tortured, I would like to see you change your CZ ID because you are placing a negative connotation on yourself.  I agree with many of the points in the response, above.  Human "sensitivity" and instincts are there for "A Reason."  That your own sensitivity has survived childhood reconditioning is, indeed, a "gift" of sorts.  There is nothing "wrong" with being A Sensitive!  It can be a challenge, but it’s not an indication that you’re "crazy." The emotional issues that you’re experiencing ...
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Just because many human behaviours and emotional talents are a challenge to understand does not warrant a psychologically-challenged label! You sound extremely sensitive tortured1 - and indeed must feel at times a torture. You are not harming others with your perceptions - indeed, at times you are possibly a huge help with having such razor sharp intuition and inner knowing. Because the majority of people have not experienced this, they seek to find labels for those considered ’emotionally abnormal’; as already suggested - these innate parts of self tend to become diluted into adulth ...
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my bi polar diagnosis was retracked by another health care provider. He did not feel that i was bi polar in any sense of the word. i have also had doctors say borderline personality, low frustration tolerance, adjustment disorder. I have no idea what is wrong with me...medications do not work for me. I am currently on depression meds and anxiety meds. which help me from not sleeping all the time. i know im depressed right now. i have so much going on in my life. I just want to stop feeling either sad or angry all the time. i cant seem to find happy and motivated in my list of emotions! ...
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Tortured, human beings are born with instincts that are soon extinguished as they age.  Empathy - the ability to "feel" the emotions of others and imagine those feelings is not a "bad thing," though it can really get out of control if we’re particularly vulnerable due to childhood traumas, etc. You’ve been properly diagnosed BiPolar?  And, you’ve been prescribed medication that is closely monitored?  Sometimes, this is helpful, but medications are not the sole answer to any chemical imbalance.  I would strongly urge you to engage in counseling the ...
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This may be long but i hope people take time to read it. i want to start out by saying that my family is of native American decent and i know that we have always attracted spirits to us. until recently i have never been lucky enough to see one. I’ve had an invisible guest in every single home I’ve lived in. leading me to believe that its one that follows ME. this Im ok with because Im used to it. I’ve also experienced other things which i can deal with like smelling cologn of a deceased person I’ve never met or someone who Im missing. there is also the curse of feeling emotions of o ...
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testing for some reason my last post disappeared from the single view but only shows up on the multiple thread.   [End]
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I liked Jane Alexander’s website. She went through her transformation and is now giving some useful information such as the ”Tibetan Book of the Dead” and ”Spiritual Emergency” to have others read and gain the benefits from it. It’s good to have this type of information to learn and understand our complex experiences AND that mental illness doesn’t have to be a permanent condition. It is my belief, that we also need SPECIFIC advice on how to heal and stabilize these unique spiritual transformations. I have posted about many healing modalities that I found useful throughout my path - ...
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If you are willing to share this about yourself: How did you come to know not to listen to those voices that were not your own? But I have to put you on the spot. Having whatever information you gathered (to be more discerning) presumes that you did STOP a certain pattern of behavior. That behavior could be within the realm of meditation, breathwork, or even acting oddly enough that makes others apprehensive. Whatever it was, you appear to have learned something and stabilized yourself. And this tribulation may have been a good thing in order to evolve and grow. Of course, it is to ...
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"But, how many more individuals are practicing wrong breathing that stimulates the kundalini energies in a harmful way? How many more practitioners are entering the astral realms and don’t know how to defend themselves from psychic attack? How many don’t know grounding exercises as a safe antidote to racing thoughts?" I’ve practiced many different types of breathing exercises and have not found any of them that activate my Kundalini.  I run my Kundi by activating it from within myself and control it with grounding.  I also turn it off at bedtime the same w ...
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Seeking qualified help can come from a lama, a reiki-healer or some other health-care practitioner that understands the nature of the problem and wasn’t meant to refer only to a psychiatrist. Sometimes a psychiatrist is needed but I think both you and I know they have their limitations. I have also been meditating for more than thirty years on average of three or four hours a day. I would NOT tell you or anyone to stop doing what you are doing in regards to meditation or breath-work. If it is certainly helps then more power to you. I am not here to step on anyone’s toes or make them ...
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I was responding to statements like this: "Please, if you hear a voice in your head it is a psychic phenomena and on a lower (astral) plane than proper meditation. For your own good, you should stop all meditation or breathing exercise or whatever you are doing and seek qualified help." I’ve meditated for an hour or more each day for more than thirty years.  I’ve learned that "voices in my head" are my own as long as they are in my own voice.  If they are not - I kick them out.  I also hear voices outside of my head and that can be someone ...
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I have gone through my trials and tribulations while being labeled as Bipolar in my quest for health and wholeness. It doesn’t seem to me that you understand what I posted. It was mainly in relation to those that have a predisposition for following their intuition and acting on deceptive voices that derive from our split-mind or demonic sources. The post was sincere and meant ONLY to prevent harm that is possible to deep spiritual seekers. The respect goes should go both ways - don’t you think? As the Golden Rule you mentioned should include my post and opinions or facts as well. ...
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When someone tells me what is "wrong" behavior, I treat them like the plague.   There is but one "law" on the Planet and that is to respect the space/information of others.  (Also called the Golden Rule.)  When someone tells me how to run my life I know that they haven’t got the foggiest idea of how to run their own life. There are many out there who - if elected, want to incarcerate others for their belief system because they think that person or persons are mentally ill.  It’s been that way throughout history.  Gandhi was ...
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Gandhi said it right: “Be the change you seek in the world.” But most get it backwards and begin a political agenda that is at odds with the powers that be. When their ethics aren’t upheld properly, obstacles arise. Then paranoia sets in and they defeat themselves. These types of people see an evil or corrupt world and become very impatient. Without the dharma-eye they cannot see the help going on “behind the scenes” and so they take it upon themselves to change the world. And they do this in an unskillful way that ends up in a disaster. It has been said that your opinion of the world i ...
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The Barbara Brennan School of Healing has a generous amount of information that ties psychological patterns of disease in relation to physical wellness and healing. Both books she has written are essential to own, although her second book has more information on thyroid problems. It certainly is possible that a fracturing of the nervous-system (science term) or chakras/channels (spiritual term) has happened in the thyroid area. This type of physical or energetic trauma surely could lead to a personality disorder or mental imbalance later on in life. You just have to research it more ...
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Nope, nope, nope.  "Personality Disorder" suggests that the choices of behaviors of individuals that "fit the profile" of certain conditions can somehow be treated, managed, and/or "cured."  In some "disorders," this may be true to a certain extent, but it is very limited. When discussing NPD or sociopathy/psychopathy, there is no "organic" cause for the choices of these individuals.  Thyroid issues have absolutely NO impact upon whether or not an individual has a conscience or sense of remorse.  Thyroi ...
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For over twenty years, I had read Paul Brunton’s books over and over again. I enjoyed contemplating his works and achieved many insights through his syntheses of the nature of Reality. With respect to PB’s achievements in the spiritual world, I regularly used him as a guide to assist me along the quest until I met my own teacher. Therefore, with reluctance I write this article. Some people may misconstrue this criticism and claim it stems from hatred or jealousy. But nothing could be farther than the truth. A few things need to be pointed out, so that fellow questers can see throug ...
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Thank you for this. Lie is about survival and we are survivors. whatever life gives to us, we must be prepared. http://www.chineseenergetics.com/   [End]
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Hi everyone, I’d like to invite you to be involved in some interesting and important psychological research!! I’m looking for individuals aged 18 and above to complete a 15-20 minute anonymous online questionnaire about self-injury. As you may know, self-injury is a poorly understood phenomenon. I am hoping that findings from this research study will contribute to the current knowledge base, to guide clinical practice and assist those suffering from mental illness. This questionnaire is part of a large research study aiming to understand associations between self-harm and particu ...
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Winterbloom, Thanks for your insight, I loved reading what you said. My mother is exactly the same. I have been battling with this for the last 3 yrs. I finally realized what she was all about after 50 yrs. A long time yes I know but I never knew why she was the way she was. And you are right, those with BPD can mask who they really are. The way she treated me as a child no one knew and even if I opened my mouth they would never believe she could be so cruel. Not good for anyone to grow up like that but it does help to know you are not alone and that your feelings are validated. I ...
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Hi 1212, What you describe is par for the course with BPD. My mother is BPD and I can tell you BPDs DO get jealous of their own children or ANYONE who they feel is taking attention away from them. These are people who demand to be the center of attention at all times. What you said about your daughter is typical. If you were to marry this woman and have your daughter live with you there is no doubt she would start abusing her. BPDs do not share or consider anyone else’s needs but their own. They often get jealous and will abuse anyone they feel is ”robbing” them of the attention th ...
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D, sounds like your wife was a high functioning BPD. So is my mother. She too has a master’s degree and does just fine in her professional life. BPDs can be intelligent. If they are high functioning they can also be outwardly successful. But ALL BPDs are self-centered to a pathological degree. They demand to be treated like babies in their personal life, demand to be the center of attention, blame other for their mistakes, they are incapable of personal responsability. Even if they know better than to behave so immaturely in public, they will do so in their personal life. It has t ...
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It doesn’t matter how intelligent a BPD is--they will still make bad parents because of the simple fact that they will always put THEMSELVES first before any child’s needs. That is the heart of their personality..putting their own needs, emotions, dramas first. They are very selfish at core, despite having bouts of seemingly ”caring” about others. When they are in a good mood, all is well, but when they are in a bad mood all is hell. The family will have to live by the dictates of the BPDs moods, ego, desires. Nothing else matters, not reality, not their own children’s wellfare. Thes ...
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”They feel other people’s emotions and feelings.” That’s a very false statement. BPDs feel THIER OWN emtotions and feelings very intensley. They feel it with such intensity because its to the exclusion of all else. Yes, that includes other people’s feelings. BPDs are not empaths. Empathy is about caring, feeling, and knowing what it is like for other people. BPDs (and all cluster B personality disorders) are crippled by an intense focus on the self. Their own emotions are thus magnified. One cannot be as self-centered as these people are and be empaths. They are intensely focus ...
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I’ve read several different articles that stated that the two ’may’ be related, some scientific, firmly beleiving thyroid disorders, such as hypothyroidism, can be a direct or indirect cause. Makes sense as thyroid hormones influence many bodily functions, especially energy levels. I was wondering if anyone else came across the possible relation between the two, or if anyone who has (or knows someone who has) hypothyroidism or some other thyroid disorder/disease that also has personality/social dysfunctions or disorders? That’s a complex issue of culture and upbringing, includ ...
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I’ve read several different articles that stated that the two ’may’ be related, some scientific, firmly beleiving thyroid disorders, such as hypothyroidism, can be a direct or indirect cause. I was wondering if anyone else came across the possible relation between the two, or if anyone who has (or knows someone who has) hypothyroidism or some other thyroid disorder/disease that also has personality/social dysfunctions or disorders? The reason I ask this, is that I personally know two persons (both of which who are females close to me) who exhibit symptoms of both a thyroid disorder A ...
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Actually, I need to be more specific in my reply. Your comments are incorrect and dangerous. FACTS : * BPD is episodic and can be ’triggered’ by traumatic events. * BPD women are normally under achievers as they always run into trouble, through their inability to handle their emotions with teachers, organisations, fellow workers, doctors, partners etc. and cannot focus on study or advancement. They are constantly thwarted by their own intolerance of those around them and their frequent tantrums which destroy their chances of advancement. You obviously have no idea of BPD in ...
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soulful, it is common knowledge that the oppressed, onced freed, become the oppressors. this is a psychcological truism. the best way i found to overcome is to ask God to create justice in the situation then step back and let God create justice. if you want, www.sprituality.com website will help you out   [End]
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As I look back at the things that worked for me, I discovered that nervous system damage was the root cause of most illness; likewise the repaired nervous system was the basis for obtaining long-term health. You can obtain this sort of physical, mental and emotional healing through many modalities such as Reiki, Chi-Kung, Feldenkrais Movement Therapy and even Juice Fasting. Getting attuned to Reiki is my first choice for getting back to health. Why? Because, it safely opens up and repairs the central channel which is closely aligned to what western-science calls the autonomic nervous sy ...
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 It is quite understandable to feel hatred and the need for revenge when you have been raped. This is why it may be important to have the criminal justice system involved, in order to prevent a rapist from committing the offence again. This may also help the rapist in the end, because, believe it or not, a rapist can be helped by therapy overcoming the flaw in his personality that causes him to be a rapist. But revenge is not necessarily going to "cure" the PTSD of the victim. Contrary to popular opinion PTSD is not so much a "psychological illness", but rather ...
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EDIT: I had mentioned in my post that my wife has a bipolar disorder, but shows signs of having a cluster b disorder because she fits most of the disorders. Bob   [End]
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Bob, I’m so sorry to read about your experiences.  You said that she was BiPolar, but you’ve posted on the Borderline Personality forum.  From what you’re describing, she fits the profile of Borderline, which is far, far different than BiPolar Disorder.  Has she been diagnosed? I would recommend that you cut off any financial support, immediately, with the exception of any court-ordered alimony.  I would also strongly recommend that you begin documenting every dime, every conversation, and every interaction that passes between you - do this in an obj ...
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Hi, My name is Bob and I married a woman 2 years ago, and everything went well for the first 6 months, then everything went haywire. Before it went haywire she went to the gym and hired a trainer to loose 68 pounds in order to seduce me into marrying her. Well, I ended up marrying her, and I thought I was in heaven. Then, she started spending money frivolously and impulsively to the tune of causing me to file for bankruptcy. You see, between the 2 of us we took in over $150,000.00/yr. She makes $20,000.00 more a year than me. She would only help pay by paying the minimum because she said ...
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Bottom line is that we are what we are.  Simply put, we are the sum total of our life’s experiences and factored by the manner(s) in which we chose to manage those experiences and events, or not.  A "label" is something that we choose to accept by others - a "label" is how we are defined by someone other than our Self.  When we define whom and what we are, we aren’t "labeling."  Rather, we are recognizing and acknowledging the events that have helped to shape our personalities, feelings, and perceptions, and our subsequent ...
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this was a great read. however. sometimes ”victims” or ”survivors” dont want the labels so they black it out. then what?   [End]
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I know what your saying is RIGHT.. There is freedom in knowing why I hurt. I should be grateful I have the ”WHY??” answered now.   [End]
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One of the most natural and "normal" emotions that accompany the healing process with regard to NPD or sociopathy victimization is hatred, anger, rage, and a deep-seated desire to exact revenge.  While these reactions are "normal," they can easily and very quickly develop into a full-blown disease of their own.   "But, Soulful, this person deliberately damaged me for their own entertainment and satisfaction!!!  They deserve to suffer, too!"   Indeed, anyone who deliberately harms another person does deserve to suffer.  But, in ...
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Gandhi said it right: “Be the change you seek in the world.“ But most get it backwards and begin a political agenda that is at odds with the powers that be. When their ethics aren’t upheld properly then they defeat themselves and paranoia sets in. These types of people see an evil or corrupt world and become very impatient. Without the dharma-eye they cannot see the help going on “behind the scenes” and so they take it upon themselves to change the world. And they do this in an unskillful way that ends up in a disaster. It has been said that your opinion of the world is a reflectio ...
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The best way to find a therapist is to contact your local crisis hotline OR abuse hotline. They can put you in touch with several potential therapists and, typically, the abuse centers often provide free counseling. The website that will help locate the domestiv violence hotline in your area is www.ndvh.org. Best healing wishes to you - if you want help, you’ll do the hard work necessary to help you Survive.   [End]
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How do I find a therapist who specializes in this? I can’t go on anymore without outside help.   [End]
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Hi , took a long time to reply...sorry. I’m really sorry for your experiences, however, I , and I dare say , most other men who have been involved with a BPD woman who has suicided could not possibly identify with the link you posted!! Way off target!   [End]
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http://curezone.com/upload/Art/4dhLhMEf75_large_preview.jpg Make friends with your shadow. All your shadow ever wanted to do was protect you. Your shadow desperately wants you to survive, its scathing criticisms and sarcastic put downs are all designed to do one thing and one thing only - to train your psyche to endure exactly those attacks which you received as a vulnerable child. If they are dead or you have gone no contact with them, these abusers are now gone from your life. All that is left now is you and your shadow. Your shadow is so very lonely, accepted and loved by no-one, ... [Image Embedded Here]
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...I once had the experience of a friend supporting me...I mean really supporting me, unconditionally. It wasn’t what she said, it was a feeling that came over me, on the telephone, half a world away. I knew without doubt that she supported me, no matter what. I didn’t know, at 70+, that such support existed. Now, I try to project that thought to others, even everyone, every time I remember. EFT is wonderful, too...on every subject. I used it, with a demonstration video on Youtube, every day for five days. Wow! Do it repeatedly, on the same subject, if you bring the negat ...
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Again, I’m terribly sorry that you, or anyone else, suffers this type of experience. It is not a crime, nor is it abnormal, for a person to be angry and at their wits end after someone that they care about suicides. Too many questions remain unanswered and the ”blame” for the event runs a full circuit, sometimes for years, until the survivor(s) manage to sort out fact from fiction and develop a fact-based analytical eye while maintaining their empathy. I feel that it is dangerous for anyone to generalize (particularly a practicing psychologist), especially concerning behavioral disord ...
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