The Perfect Revenge

One of the most natural and "normal" emotions that accompany the healing process with regard to NPD or sociopathy victimization is hatred, anger, rage, and a deep-seated desire to exact revenge.  While these reactions are "normal," they can easily and very quickly develop into a full-blown disease of their own.  

"But, Soulful, this person deliberately damaged me for their own entertainment and satisfaction!!!  They deserve to suffer, too!"  

Indeed, anyone who deliberately harms another person does deserve to suffer.  But, in order for us to evolve from victims into Survivors, holding on to those volatile reactionary emotions does not, under any circumstance, promote our own personal growth and healing.  Rather, those emotions become a barricade that prevents us from moving forward on our healing paths - a veritable emotional obstacle that not only stops us in our tracks, but buries us, spoonful by negative spoonful, until we become a shell of a human being without hope of, or interest in, healing our own Self (Self = that which makes us unique / soul).  We refuse to let go of our negative emotions because we become enamored of feeling "justified" in our burning hatred and entertainment of revenge - the negativity that was formed solely by the NPD or sociopath's actions becomes our only comfort and perceived "reason for existing."  This negativity becomes an emotional malignancy that will eat us, alive, if we choose to allow it.  To let go of those emotions means to risk, and we have taught by the NPD or sociopath that any risk means failure and disapproval.  Thus, by gripping onto that negativity, we are actually relinquishing control over our own life's course to the NPD or sociopath.  They are still winning.

The best and greatest revenge is for victims to evolve into Survivors and live happy, contented, and productive lives.  "Happy" is a relative term and it doesn't mean the euphoric type of happiness - it's a calm, peaceful, joy of living that rises up to replace hatred and overall angst.  "Contented" means recognizing that Life isn't fair and that no philosophy or religion states that it is - being content that we are alive and able to give as well as take without malice, without an agenda, and with a peaceful calm is what the former perpetrator would not wish for us, ever.  "Productive" is not related to wealth, but more to success and giving back to our communities with love, appreciation, humility, and graciousness that comes with emotional maturity - Surviving the NPD or sociopath is the ultimate revenge because we, the former source targets, are free of control!

If our hatred, anger, rage, and desire for revenge has become an emotional barrier and we are consumed by these emotions every minute, every day, then it's time to reach out and engage with a professional counseling therapist that specializes in NPD survival, sociopathy, and abuse survival.  There is no shame in getting professional assistance, nor does it mean that we're crazy, NOR does it mean that the NPD or sociopath has "won."  They "win" only when we throw in the towel and give up on our Self.  The counselor will have techniques and tools that will help us cope with trust issues, anger, rage, and resentment, and help us to place our own feet on our own healing paths, and teach us how to disallow interference by an NPD or sociopath.  We will learn how to go "No Contact" without feeling badly about it, and to actually benefit from never speaking to, hearing from, or engaging with the former predator, again.  

To locate a counseling therapist, call your local abuse hotline or mental health referral service and specify, very clearly, that you want a professional who is experienced in abuse survival, sociopathy, and NPD survival.  They will put you into contact with the right person, and some services may even be available at no charge, depending upon your situation.  

Visit:  www.ndvh.org and www.lovefraud.com 

Brightest blessings!