This may be long but i hope people take time to read it. i want to start out by saying that my family is of native American decent and i know that we have always attracted spirits to us. until recently i have never been lucky enough to see one. I've had an invisible guest in every single home I've lived in. leading me to believe that its one that follows ME. this Im ok with because Im used to it.
I've also experienced other things which i
can deal with like smelling cologn of a deceased person I've never met or someone who Im missing.
there is also the curse of feeling emotions of others so strongly that its hard to distinguish if they are my emotions or not. i don't go to the mall at Xmas because i get aggravated and feel anxious. overwhelmed. i was diagnosed as bi polar or as having adjustment disorder etc but meds do nothing for me but make me tired or irritable. people say Im too emotional or mood swings. when someone in the room cries out in anger or frustration i become angered. watching sad movies and i don't mix. i literally feel like my heart is breaking and i cry in sobs. my family laughs at this of course lol! i know things about people and their feelings that i Prolly shouldn't know and can sense danger by being near certain people. i always say that person makes me ickie. and thats EXACTLY the feeling i get.
now my 2nd problem. for years now especially recently i somehow just KNOW things. not visions or promotions. on occasion Im able to tell someone your mom is gonna call and the cell rings of course its who i said. i always get the corner of the eye look when that happens. i seem to ALWAYS just KNOW when Im being lied to or what someone will do or say. but when confronted with what i just KNOW its always denied. i know when someone far away is upset with me. i have dreams of people i haven't talked to in a while and the next day they call. all of my romantic relationships have pretty much told me i was crazy. i always just knew when they were doing wrong. am i paranoid? or gifted
Tortured, human beings are born with instincts that are soon extinguished as they age. Empathy - the ability to "feel" the emotions of others and imagine those feelings is not a "bad thing," though it can really get out of control if we're particularly vulnerable due to childhood traumas, etc.
You've been properly diagnosed BiPolar? And, you've been prescribed medication that is closely monitored? Sometimes, this is helpful, but medications are not the sole answer to any chemical imbalance. I would strongly urge you to engage in counseling therapy with a PSYCHOLOGIST and not a psychiatrist. Psychiatry approaches the chemical and medical facets of the human brain while psychology addresses the emotional and behavioral facets of human behavior. There are techniques and methods that can help you to manage mood swings, cycling, and hyper-emotional states, but it requires dedication, resolve, and practice.
Nobody would ever "choose" to be BiPolar, Tortured. It's a very painful disorder and not something that anyone "deserves." Having typed that, you are the sole keeper of your own emotional and physical health. In addition to prescribed medication, counseling should be a requirement to help you learn how to manage your own emotional health.
Brightest blessings to you
Tortured, I would like to see you change your CZ ID because you are placing a negative connotation on yourself. I agree with many of the points in the response, above. Human "sensitivity" and instincts are there for "A Reason." That your own sensitivity has survived childhood reconditioning is, indeed, a "gift" of sorts. There is nothing "wrong" with being A Sensitive! It can be a challenge, but it's not an indication that you're "crazy."
The emotional issues that you're experiencing that you feel are a challenge can be addressed through proper counseling therapy with the "right" professional - that would be someone that doesn't necessarily support over-medicating and takes a more personal and holistic approach.
If we understand our core issues, we can learn many priceless techniques and methods of managing those issues without mind-altering chemicals. As an example, I was suffering from extreme anxiety, and I was prescribed a relatively "routine" anti-anxiety medication that was to be taken 3X's daily, or "as needed." Initially, I snapped these things in half and took 1/2 twice daily. After a short time, I began weaning myself off of this chemical because I was learning coping techniques in sessions that helped me to relieve the anxiety. I no longer take these medications because I learned how to manage triggers and reactions.
I'm rather in agreement with "labels" because I've seen NUMREOUS people rely upon a diagnosis to "excuse" their behaviors - in fact, it allowed for them to actually make some very "bad" choices and decisions, and then blame the "condition" that they had been diagnosed with. This is a result of psychiatry, which is the study of brain chemistry. I would urge you to consider counseling sessions with a psychologist that addresses human behavior and emotions to learn the core of your anger, etc. These things can be safely managed, Tortured.
Most important for you to understand is that not one of us on this planet is without some sort of issue. Each one of us carries our own imperfections and foibles, and this doesn't make us "bad" people! It's how we manage these foibles is what determines whether or not we mean harm to ourselves or others. You sound genuinely interested and committed to sorting yourself out, and that is NOT a symptom of someone who doesn't care or means harm. So, in essence, your sensitivity and creativity can be a beautiful thing if you take some steps to sort out the emotional core issues.
Brightest healing blessings