Re: am i crazy or do i have an ability?

Tortured, human beings are born with instincts that are soon extinguished as they age.  Empathy - the ability to "feel" the emotions of others and imagine those feelings is not a "bad thing," though it can really get out of control if we're particularly vulnerable due to childhood traumas, etc.

You've been properly diagnosed BiPolar?  And, you've been prescribed medication that is closely monitored?  Sometimes, this is helpful, but medications are not the sole answer to any chemical imbalance.  I would strongly urge you to engage in counseling therapy with a PSYCHOLOGIST and not a psychiatrist.  Psychiatry approaches the chemical and medical facets of the human brain while psychology addresses the emotional and behavioral facets of human behavior.  There are techniques and methods that can help you to manage mood swings, cycling, and hyper-emotional states, but it requires dedication, resolve, and practice.

Nobody would ever "choose" to be BiPolar, Tortured.  It's a very painful disorder and not something that anyone "deserves."  Having typed that, you are the sole keeper of your own emotional and physical health.  In addition to prescribed medication, counseling should be a requirement to help you learn how to manage your own emotional health.

Brightest blessings to you