Re: Survival for non-BPD individuals

Thank you very much for your post, which you articulated with real perfection, I agree totally 100% with everything you said.
You could have been reading my mind and speaking my very words.

I have recently separated from my husband after 24years together, and have only recently, since our horrendous final break up, learnt that he has Bpd.

It is, as you rightly said all about them. Me me me and more me.

Even at the very end when I was in excruciating pain having to end our marriage. Despite, him refusing to get the help he needed and repeatedly failing to take responsibility for his part in helping to make our marriage work, he still, following uncontrollable abusive rages and bad behaviour, hating me, during confrontation, begged, pleaded, cried and used the poor me, pity me tactics, emotional blackmail, self harm and suicide attempts, and still, as always, it was all about him. His heart, his feelings, his pain, his marriage and his life.

The same man who supposedly couldn't bare and didnt want to live without me and tried to end his life, following which, he had a short stay in a mental health unit, (during which time, having shared everything with each other for 24years, he withdrew all consent for the psychiatrists and staff to discuss anything about him, his diagnosis and treatment with me) devalued, demonised and replaced me, with another woman in record breaking time, in the blink of an eye. (While he was in hospital receiving treatment). Is that crazy or is that crazy !,

Then still had the audacity to claim I broke my wedding vows for not accepting him and loving him or who he was and in sickness and in health.
Also, of course, It was because of me that he hurt himself and was suicidal.

You are so right, they are self pitying, self righteous and despite my husbands intelligence and success, he knew exactly what he was doing.

Whether it is intentional or not, it is still crazy making behaviour, which over time, irrespective of how strong you are as a person, completely drains you of energy, shatters your soul and reduces you to a shadow of your former self.

Thank you very much for your post. Hope you are doing well !!
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