Re: Survival for non-BPD individuals
Hi,
I do have to disagree with you. If a person meets the diagnostic criteria for an illness, and works through the issues with medication, therapy, etc. and then no longer meets the diagnostic criteria for the illness, then they are cured. There are BPDs who have been cured. They get help, they learn new coping strategies, and then they no longer meet the DSM IV-TR criteria for BPD. In my mind, that means they are no longer BPD. If you have cancer, assume treatment, then no cancer is found in your body, do you still say "I have cancer?" No, you say "Thank God! I was cured of cancer!" Can you ever get cancer again, well sure, but for the time being you do not have it in your body. They say if you remain cancer free for I think 5 years, then you are no longer at a higher risk for developing cancer again than anyone else. If a BPD stays symptom free for 5 years, it's safe to assume that they are not going to relapse.
You mention eating disorders, some people with "addictions" which include alcohol, drugs, etc.. are "said" by some programs to never be cured because the potential for relpase is always present. The 12 Step programs feel this way. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I say that every individual is different. If you've gone many years w/o engaging in the addiction and feel absolutely no pull towards it at all, then you are no more likely to engage in it again than someone else is to begin engaging in it. There ARE people though that do fight this tendency all of their lives and it's a tough struggle. They need the ongoing and continuing support of programs like AA, NA, etc to remain sober. I would say that these ones are not cured but are in remission. If they were to engage in the addiction again (alcohol, drugs, eating disorders) they would be back to where they were before starting recovery and worse.
However, I look at mental disorders from a more biological perspective than moral weakness perspective. In my opinion, Borderlines were created due to hard lives as children mostly and due to the toxic ways they learned to cope. If these ones are able to understand their illness, agree to action to change, and maintain recovery from symptoms for a long period of time, why continue to view them as BPD?
Now, take a person who is Bipolar and it's a chemical imbalance in their brain treated w/ medications and they are fine and the symptoms are in control while they are on medication. They are not "cured." They have Bipolar illness which is controlled w/ medications. However, if they go off the medication, and their brain chemicals are able to remain in balance for a long period time and they have no symptoms of Bipolar, then they are cured. This RARELY happens with Bipolar illness or Schizophrenia because it is very biologically based.
On the other hand, BPD can have a chemical component (depression, anxiety, etc), the main characteristics of BPD are behavioral in nature, not chemical. Behaviorial/coping issues can be cured.
Can an abuser to cured? YES! Of course they can. Anyone CAN abuse, and anyone can stop abusing, if they get the proper help. Many abusers came from abusive families. They are not evil people. They learned toxic ways of relating to others and controlling through fear and intimidation. I have personally seen an abuser change. They went through an EXTENSIVE anger management and domestic violence training program and they are healed 100% and have been for over 20 years. The issue is this- does the abuser see their behavior as a problem and do they want to change?
Also, not to get overly religious here, personally I'm a spiritual person, not religious but.....have you ever witnessed true conversion? Have you ever witnessed an extreme paradigm change cause by a spiritual or deeply profound experience? I have. I don't doubt the validity of it. God, the way that you may understand him, has power, is a higher power, and that power is, well, powerful. It's life changing. It's life altering. No, I'm not going to go off and preach a sermon. I'm not talking converting into a "religon." I'm talking a true deeply meaningful spiritual experience where you know that you know that you know there is a higher power in your life and that you are important. That changes people. The worst of people.
I don't want to negate your initial post about the profound difficulty of living w/ a severely BPD individual. It's one of the most problematic of mental disorders. The characteristic symptoms, acting out, and traits of a BPD person who has a high level of severity is definitely not something to
Sugar coat. I could not live with a severely BPD individual. I don't have the patience or the tolerance for it. The less severe individuals are the most likely to be able to conceptualize their illness, understand it and it's origins, and to work through the pain into recovery and then cure.
Thank you for the discussion.
Angel
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