Setting boundries.

Hi, new to forum but not to BPD.I live with an untreated Borderline, and have for sixteen years. She is my wife and we have two children 13 and 15.I have always been able to navigate pretty well once I figured out what was going on and how to deal with it. Lately she has been able to keep us apart better than ever. I would like some help in setting a boundry with her on this subject. So a little history. One way that I have survived is to have friends away from her. Some are confidants, some are just friends. My wife found a conversation I had with someone I confided with and on my computer, and since it was a women, she flew into a rage and accused me of having an affair. Maybe I was emotionally. We went to counselors (her request) and debated the subject endlessly. Now a year and a half later she pulls the subject out when it suites her needs, which usually means we get too close. I hate the subject, I lost a good friend and have been accused of all sorts of things that never happened. Is there a way for me to get this to stop? How can I set real boundries on this? Thanks for any help. Tweet