Re: Damaged

Thanks for your reply, I still dont think I have low self esteem, maybe there is some psychological reason why I didn't see sence earlier but I didn't consider myself unattractive or unloveable in any way. I can only say that I felt the nice side, which I thought was the real him is possıbly in reality another symptom of BPD , was worth it and was unrealistic in my belief that I was strong enough to make it work. Certainly when he was verbally nasty it was frustrating but I never believed that I was bad, stupid or ugly or any other negative characteristic he tried to convince me I was. His attempts to bully me mentally never had any success.

I was never dillusional about him in the sence that I did recognise his considerable shortcomings, however I did take a silly risk continuing with the relationship.

You are correct when you say I fell in to the trap of thinking İf I dıd ....then he will be happy and won't abuse me agaın. I thought if I removed what I naively thought were the things that upset him he would be more or less ok.

My comment about the lack of specialised medical treatment was in reference to him getting psychiatric help. I can get the dental treatment I need where I live and Izmir is just over 1 and a half hours drive away and good plastic surgery is available there. The problem with Psychiatric help is that it generally requires ongoing regular treatment and added to this is that there is still stigma attached to any mental illness in men especially in Turkey.

Asylum is not really a good option to me as I own my home here. It is my home, not a joint property, we are not married so he has no claım to it. I am British so actually I wouldn't need it anyway, should I abandon my home, property. friends and life because of this man? I don't think so.

He is not locked up at the moment but the case has gone to a judge and he has requested a further medical report. I have until now left it with the police who have been persuing the case however as I am struggling to understand what is happening and what will happen I have a meeting with a lawyer this afternoon.

I have to wait a couple more weeks before having the braces of my teeth and seeing what the next steps are. Financing the plastic surgery may be difficult but I will find a way.

Is it fair and correct to suggest that a victim has psychological issues?
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