Re: BPD and children

D, sounds like your wife was a high functioning BPD. So is my mother. She too has a master's degree and does just fine in her professional life. BPDs can be intelligent. If they are high functioning they can also be outwardly successful. But ALL BPDs are self-centered to a pathological degree. They demand to be treated like babies in their personal life, demand to be the center of attention, blame other for their mistakes, they are incapable of personal responsability. Even if they know better than to behave so immaturely in public, they will do so in their personal life. It has to come out somewhere. This is who they are and they can't keep the facade up (the normalcy facade) for long. The high functioning types are the Jeykl and Hide types. Exhibiting one persona at home and another at work. They are smart enough to know behaving like a spoiled toddler is something to hide. It comes out behind closed doors at home. If they aren't treated with kid gloves, if their expectations are not met (and they have huge expectations similiar to a babies) then they act out like a toddler in the terrible twos. They rage, tantrum, blame, project. Abuse others or turn all that selfishness inwards and attempt to destroy themselves. Afterall, if they can't get what they want, they have to destroy it all. Just like a toddler having a fit. Only they are toddlers in an adults body with an adults intelligence and an adult's privelidges. They can do great harm to others and to themselves. BPDs do not get better. They always remain selfish to this degree. Their relationships only get worse and worse over time due to this. I wanted my mother to get better, I wanted her to see that she was abusing us and to stop it, but she will never change. Nothing is her fault. We "made" her abuse us. BPDs are always right (in their mind), always the victim (when in truth they are the abusers). BPDs are like abusers of every stripe: acting childish, reckless, blaming others, never take personal responsability, never feel remorse (only self-pity), abuse others, but insist they are the victims. Your wife was not the BPD exception. She was simply a high functioning BPD. High functioning refers only to their status in life (career, outward appearances). Their personal life would still be just as fraught with hell due to their selfish pathology. Tweet