Re: BPD and children

I am so sorry for your loss and for the incredible aftermath that you and your son are suffering.

By saying, "BPD," I'm going to assume that you mean Bi Polar Disorder, rather than, Borderline Personality Disorder. If I'm wrong, I apologize for the assumption. Bi Polar can be successfully treated using a number of techniques and options. Borderline, on the other hand, has no known successful treatments. If you are, indeed, talking about Bi Polar, please try to accept that Bi Polar individuals don't ask for such a devastating illness - they know that "something is wrong," because they can clearly see the effects that their cycles have upon friends and family. A greater percentage of "hopeless" alcoholics and substance addicts are eventually diagnosed as Bi Polar. In the last 2 years of her life, my mother was diagnosed Bi Polar and this explained a great deal about her manic / depressed cycles. She attempted suicide when I was 3, and I finally understood why she felt so desperate as to attempt to end her life.

Blue Rose posted a helpful link, and I will gently suggest that you consider a support group for suicide survivors, as well as counseling for your son. This will help you to realize that you're not alone and that others are experiencing similar grief. It will also help you to cope with your normal feelings of anger, betrayal, and everything else that goes along with surviving a loved one's suicide. And, it will also help you come to terms with the desperation that your wife was feeling during her life. She did not INTEND to abuse, but her cycles may have been so harmful that she seemed abusive.

Suicide is a devastating decision, to be sure. It leaves the rest of us in doubt, angry, and wounded to the soul. Again, I suggest that you help your Self and your surviving son by getting involved in some "good medicine" in the form of support groups and counseling.

If, on the other hand, you are talking about Borderline Personality Disorder, that's a completely different discussion. The grief is the same, but the dynamics are completely different.

Brightest blessings to you and your son and may you both find healing and peace. Tweet