Re: BPD and children

"I have no idea how long ago this wretched event took place, but your original post and subsequent response suggests that you are stll very raw - understandably so, and I'm not judging."

Actually, it was 2 years , 3 months and 14 days ago.
Probably more 'raw' at the moment because our wedding anniversary was on the 11th/March and my son's 13th birthday was on the 3rd/March....those dates are no longer happy events, just reminders to both of us of who is missing.

Fact : My wife was an 'exception' , because, amongst other things , she had successfully completed a university degree ( let's be honest, most BPDs don't last at anything...) and she had been in a relationship for 17 years...(also an amazing record for a BPD). She also had stable employment. ( Again , be honest, if you really know a BPD ...you'll know that that is abnormal)
However, that didn't stop her from completely failing to see her 'problems' (when they occurred) as being a direct result of her own illness and distorted view of reality.

"I would also genty reiterate that it may be advisable to consider engaging in individual / family counseling to help you to sort out your grief and that of your son's. Anger, indignation, blame, and a host of other "negative" emotions are normal to experience when someone we care for suicides, but they can also become an unhealthy focus if we become stagnant in processing them."

Let's leave the 'blame' tag to BPDs . That's what they do the most : blame others. In fact , it's their favorite topic. They blame everyone for their 'pain' , because, as is well documented, they really have no idea where it comes from and just pin it on those closest to them.... parents, siblings , friends, partners, anyone they have had a close relationship with. My wife had someone to blame in all of the above categories.

Interesting fact : Before my wife's death , she was accusing some younger members of staff at her medical clinic of bullying her. This was possibly true, as she had been fine with absolutely no sign of any problems for the 5 years that she had been working there. ( in fact, I have no doubt that that was what 'triggerd' her BPD again) .But they were completely vindicated by the coroner, because , after all, her extreme reaction and suicide proved that it was all her fault because she was known to have a mental illness.

BPD's ! Listen !

There is no victory in suicide.

You lose, and the ones who hurt you win.

All you do by killing yourself is hurt the ones who love and support you.


Pay attention, this is all true from REAL experience,
not from someone's imagination of how things should be. Tweet