Leaving BPD wife after 8 years

So I'm leaving my BPD wife, we've been married for almost 4 years, together for 8. We have three children together, 5, 3, and 4 months old.
As a lot of you may have experienced, your SO with BPD might go through cycles of mood changes and their frequency and intensity will fluctuate depending on the person. Well my wife had been stuck in a cycle for a while, and I'd grown too accustomed to just keeping my mouth shut and not objecting to things I would normally, so as to not escalate an unnecessary blow up. So my wife lets our 3 year old do whatever she wants, including disrespect me, walk all over me, not listen to me, etc... And should I make any attempt to discipline, I'm accused of being the provoker, the instigator, the one giving my daughter a "good reason" for misbehaving.
I do not sit well with baseless accusations, and have put up with them enough, so after years of enduring shit, thinking things will get better, after her having cheated on me 2 years into our marriage (and was trying to tell me to get over it days after it happened), I am finished. I've tried to get hey in therapy, she tried it briefly after she cheated on me, but gave up because she thought she didn't need it anymore.
She's now trying to dissuade me from leaving, saying that I didn't give our problems enough effort, and that we need to go see couples counseling. That might have been a good idea if the problems weren't rooted in herself.
If you're reading this and are victim to bullying and disrespect from your BPD SO, REACH OUT, SPEAK UP, GATHER SUPPORT, IT WILL FEEL GREAT. Your family and friends probably know you better than your BPD SO and can probably give you a clear idea of how toxic your relationship is. I'm only realizing now because I wanted to prove the people who said we were doomed wrong. I had a lot of hope and patience, but hope and patience won't do anything unless your BPD acknowledges and is willing to get help. Tweet