I just provided my opinions, based on the little bits of information you provided, and others provided their opinions too. They are all potential resources for you, the ultimate decision-maker of yoruself. You can choose to heed or ignore any of the opinions others have replied with.
When I wrote "shameful" and "disgusting", it was in reference to the behaviour you reported engaging in, nothing else. I cannot forgive you, because you have done nothing that needs my forgiveness.
I think the best advice comes from people with the most life experience. Were I in your shoes, I'd choose advice from people who have successfully raised their own families and who have grandchildren, not from the inexperienced. There is wisdom that comes with age and experience, especially from being experienced in child-rearing. Paulette comes to mind immediately -- I'd almost guarantee 100% that her advice is good as gold. She's a great role model. Find a good role model, and emulate her!!