I would rather commit suicide or fall into a drunken stupor and die than cancel this trip. It has been in the works for a LONG time and it means EVERYTHING to me. Please.. just support me. I can't wait a bit. This is my ONLY chance to go. PLease, this is the ONE thing I have hope for right now, people telling me not to go just makes me want to kill myself. Nothing has EVER meant more to me than this-ok?