***What I know***

I sincerely agree. I'm on a different side of the fence on this, though. I've never been addicted to a drug, I've never become a drinker but it's because I made a strong decision when I was younger that I couldn't afford to play with those things. What I know, that some people have not experienced, is having primary family members be severe alcoholics and drug addicts. They're not with me anymore. Addiction is as simple as it is complex. I've learned to hone my tone and words to be grounding and assuring. I know criticism is a primal reaction. I also know that it drove a wedge between me and the person I needed to hear my words.

When someone is on a ledge, criticism sounds off as if through a bullhorn. I criticized the sh*t out of my mother for being drunk all the time. She was a genius and severely mentally ill. I was nineteen when she killed herself. When my father once asked her why she drank so much she replied 'because we can't afford cocaine.' My brother lived with me as an older teenager and I took care of him while he fought bipolarity and addiction issues. He one-upped my Mom and became an alcoholic and a cocaine addict. It got him, too. This Thanksgiving is the eighth anniversary of his suicide. He shot himself, on his birthday, on Thanksgiving. He was twenty-two and the most talented person I'd ever known. He was soft, gentle, giving, a wonderful singer/songwriter, carpenter and he was mentally ill. They were my best friends.

I know a lot more about addiction, Depression and suicide than a lot of people. I know that when they feel no one understands the mental demon telling them to do what they do - a reiteration from a human that mocks what the demon in their head is telling them - well - it's double word score.

Some of the brightest and most talented people are mentally ill and/or addicts. I think I know why they become this way. I think a lot of them see the world more clearly than we do. Sometimes I think it's the 'dark force' seeking out the ones that would really make a difference if they were unsaddled - and eating them alive. A lot of brilliant research on these very forums proves that a lot of mental illness and addiction is caused by parasites. parasites are more than what live in your organs. The world right now is tougher, more acidic and manipulative than ever and it seeks to divide us.

You all, for the most part, seem to have children in their teen years. I've known a lot of honor students that didn't meet their deconstruction process until they were 21 and over. My brother didn't start to drink and abuse drugs because he was without talent or potential. He did it because he didn't feel anyone cared to really listen and be consistent in their love for him. My Uncles had never taken the time to get to know him after my Mother died, although I begged them repeatedly. I knew it'd make a huge difference, if they reached out to him and he felt he had tribe. When he called the day before Thanksgiving and said he was going to shoot himself, I begged my family to not take a critical tone and call him back from the ledge. They said 'he's been saying this for a while. let him.' I was stunned. He knew what my Uncle said. And he went ahead. His last words to me were that he knew they didn't really care. That they thought the worst of him so why not fulfill their image and get himself a ticket to freedom in the process.

Some people tithe to their church. Some tithe to the VA with their time, some to soup kitchens. My tithing to my mother and brother is to be welcoming, compassionate and reassuring to everyone God has walk across my path. I always have somebody that wonders into my life with these saddling issues. As soon as they're stable and feel unconditionally loved - they get right back on their path... and here comes another one. Times are tough. I decided not to become a therapist because it's all I would have done and it might have killed me.

I don't condemn any of your views. I just have first hand knowledge of before and after, that's all. Actually - do me an honor, all of you. My family is gone and Thanksgiving is always very hard for me. Squeeze your children a lot harder than you did last year. Highs and lows on someone's vibration through life shouldn't be a marker on how much love you extend to them.

Peace, Love and Cranberry Dressing,

Miss Helfinger

EDIT: I just realized I hadn't done anything to celebrate my brother's portal day. This was perfect. May we all impart knowledge of mineral deficiencies, chemistry, parasite, metal and metabolic disorders, et al, to those who strive to find balance through addiction. May it be our responsibility to help each other up to equilibrium. And if sometimes that takes the tone of tough love, that's ok, too. Hopefully, it's served a la mode, though. :) Tweet