no, i have no one to talk to. you are it. i called my mom the other day to tell her how sick i am, but she can't do much because i am here and she is busy. when someone you look up to treats you liek a dog out back, it is hard. like i said, i got caught up in the abuse syndrome. i am only now starting to stop. i stopped a while back, so it new to me and i'm trying to find something to make me feel good again. i went through this once before. the problem is, i went from one abuser to another. i told the current abuser about the one prior and they couldn't believe i was treated that way...but they ended up treating me worse. many abusers put on a charming act.
no, loss of libido is very common with tuballigation. i have gotten many emails and many calls from women who say the exact same thing. it is part of PTLS.
no, i am not looking for that special someone. i have had no interest in men for about 2 years or so. i have no interest in one true love or any of that.
i cannot go back to oregon until i get well from dental because i am in a lot of pain and in the states, the work would be at least $30,000.
what dreams did i have, i believed the abuser, that he liked me. i also believed i could live well financially. he took both those away and deemed me not worthy. but now, i only would hope to recover financially, i will have to see how that goes. i have been being thrown an old eaten bone instead of a steak for over 3 years now. it is like i am scared of making money. i am scared whoever i choose to work for will not pay me and will suck me back in the other direction. i know it sounds bad, but that has been my fear for quite a while now and why i don't do anything but watch tv and write on curezone. it has gotten that bad. but, the only thing that has helped me a little bit to catapult, was my extreme need for dental work and the help of some of you at curezone. otherwise, i might be heading aimlessly back to oregon searching for something that i don't even know what it is. that may be the best thing, but i have to give this a try with my dental first. i got a call a call from a fellow curzonian from england yesterday because they were worried about me. pretty amazing.