I have read some posts, not the entire thread, but before I finish reading, I thought I would reply to the core problem.
You seem to have learned loneliness when you were very young. A lot of what we do now is learned behavior from what we observed when we were children. I believe that that life is a learning process. What happens to us as children, we do not have any control over, but we do have control of our lives as adults. Actually, it can be as easy as making a decision and shifting your thinking to the positive.
First and foremost. Happiness is very important to a person's wellbeing. You speak of your grandpa who died of loneliness. I know someone dying the very same way in a nursing home. His name is Sam and if things do not change, he will not be alive this time next year. At 59 years old, he has given up.
Don't let this happen to you. You may not think that this would not be possible now, but as the years wear on, it happens. We are all in control of our lives. Part of that control is facing the hurts and abuse that we have received while we were younger and even now and dealing with them. Part of that is forgiving those who have hurt us in any way, blessing them and letting them go. The very next second could be the beginning of a brand new future for you.
Friends are a very important part of life. Wherever you go, do what interests you. What do you like to do? What groups can you join? Do what you love to do? Do it! Everything else will come automatically, because you will attract it. There are like minded people as you. Do you like working with children? There are plenty of volunteer organizations for kids. Mentors are needed everywhere. Do you like the elderly? Go into a nursing home and just visit someone who is alone and dying. Be their friend. You have no idea what love this will bring into your life. Or do you like to dance? There are ballroom dancing and all sorts of dancing clubs where you can meet people. Do you like to skate? Do you like the outdoors? The Sierra Club is a wonderful organization where you can meet like minded people who love and care about the outdoors. There are just so many opportunities to meet friends.
Let me tell you a secret. We are all born with the need for love and acceptance. Every one of us. So if you look at people in this way, they have the very same need that you do. Nobody is above or beneath you. We are all equal.
In the end, if you are just plain not happy in California, why don't you just go back to Oregon with your friends? That could be where you truly belong. Think about that.
Are you depressed? Many suffer from clinical depression. With today's diet, fast paced life, the baggage we have accumulated throughout life, and many other factors, it is a very common thing. Actually, DQ could help you with the proper diet, supplements, and I could help you with the positive thinking part. First you must love yourself as you are.
There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. There is a need deep within you that is not met. You may be aware of it, or not. Ask yourself, "why do I feel like this?" or Why do I do this?" And give yourself an honest answer. The answer is within you. And that is a starting point.
Loneliness and depression are actually very complicated issues. They involve the physical, mental, and emotional. One needs proper nourishment for the body and mind, but one also needs proper emotional nourishment.