I know what you mean about your mom not being there for you. My mom wasn't either. She had her own severe emotional issues and even as a child, to a certain point I was her caregiver. I always tried to make sure she was happy. When I was immersed in my panic syndrome, I was in California and she was in Florida. Funny, I knew she would have a nervous breakdown if she knew how sick I was and she wouldn't be able to help me anyway. So every Saturday I called and put on this big act how everything was fine so she would feel secure. It wasn't until she first came to live with me that I shared my road to hell and back with her. One thing, with the panic attacks, I learned to be the best actress ever. If people didn't know me, they would think I was the most well adjusted person ever. Because at a certain point I decided that I would act positively, and think positively no matter how bad I felt. After a time, I noticed that something magical happened. The "acting" had turned into "habit." Not only was I well, but I really became a positive person. Not to say that I don't have my moments of discouragement and sadness. We all have that. But that is the normal human condition. Nobody can be happy all of the time. But sometimes I so wish that could be so.
Abusers can be very charming. That's how they trap you and when you are caught in their web it is too late. It is very easy to go from one abuser to the next. Actually, it is a pattern that must be broken. Self esteem and loving oneself is a good antidote. Be discerning the next time you meet that charming, kind, helpful man. Think enough of yourself to not get involved in another abusive situation. The problem with a lot of women, myself included, is that everybody else comes first. We need to make time for the most important person in our lives. Ourselves. I have to remind myself of that as I tend to be a workaholic. There are times that I must schedule relaxing and do it.
I am glad you are making an important step and attending to your teeth. This will improve your health and your self esteem. Tomorrow is the big day. I will be thinking of you. Tomorrow I will be leaving to go to the nursing home and then I will be on the road all day, making deliveries and visiting customers. I should be back by late afternoon. If I am plumb exhausted, I may take a nap before I log on. Sometimes a nap is the most important of all. LOL
I want to leave you with a link. I want you to watch this movie. It is great. This movie changed my life. Again. It can change yours.