Owen is nice, he has emailed with me before a few months ago, but he has his own thing going on and i would not want to bother him. the last few days have been a process. i just recently got rid of an abuser and had no idea where to go from there. i was at one of my worst points when i began typing this. yes, i can move home, but i stay here only because of how close it is to cancer hospitals and mexico (where you can get better healthcare and for cheaper than US). otherwise, i would go home. but, i finally had so much pain in my jaw, that a couple days ago, i called a dentist i had spoke to a year ago and made an appt and i am thinking this may be what i need to get out of this emotional pain as well as physical and hopefully financial. no, i don't want to go out or look in the phonebook or anything. the person i spoke of took absolutely everything from me until i was left with nothing and not even the desire to try anything. but luckily the pain in my mouth is here, i guess, because it might help me get some of my life back in order. it can't get much worse.