Okay. I can see that you are depressed to the point of being apathetic. Do you have anybody to talk to? Counseling may very well help you and also it will teach you coping mechanisms for your agoraphobia.
The surgery is unfortunate. But it is in the past. Everything in the past is the past. What happened happened, you cannot change it. So let it be and look to the future. You have your whole life in front of you. It is up to you which way it goes. Now, I am a bit confused, you said you had a tubal ligation? That should not make you lose your libido. I can see that the fact that you may have done it for a man and against your will could have caused massive resentment which could in fact, be responsible for the loss of your libido. There is no reason why you should not marry one day. Love can happen tomorrow. The future ahead is bright. You just have to follow that path. Just because people tell you something negative about yourself does not mean it is true. In fact, remove yourself from those negative people and hang around positive people. You will become who you hang around with.
I have another secret for you. You will never find love and happiness outside of yourself. If you are looking for that special someone to make you happy and give you love, stop now. Oh yes, you will be happy for a while, but the novelty will wear off and the same unhappiness will surface. This is the reason for so many divorces. Everybody is looking for love in all the wrong places.
The answer to love and happiness is within yourself. You hold the key. As I said before, you must first love yourself. If you do not love yourself it is impossible for you to love somebody else. Once you achieve that love of self and happiness, you will attract your one true love. It will just happen, like magic. Like attracts like. It is the law of nature.
However, you have been through an awful lot of abuse and you are hurting and scarred. In fact, this may be the reason or part of the reason for the agoraphobia. Therefore, before you find that love and happiness that is inside of you, you will need to do a lot of housecleaning. However, nothing is impossible. And you deserve to be happy. Forget what anybody has told you. It is only their opinion and they are wrong. Whether you are married or divorced or never married has nothing to do with your worth. You were made in God's very own image and likeness and God don't make junk. You deserve to be happy.
Who do you want to be? What type of person do you want to be? Dream about it. You can be that person. There's nothing stopping you. And nobody has the right to stop you either.
Why don't you go back to Oregon to your friends. It seems to be that is where you belong. And sometimes we are just happiest in a certain place. I am a great believer in being happy and quality of life.
First of all, if you are not talking to anybody, find a therapist. You will learn coping mechanisms and relaxation exercises. You will learn to see yourself in a positive light. You will learn the art of right thinking, and before you know it, you will find the love that you are seeking right inside of yourself. The most important part is that then you will attract somebody that is worthy of you, not some abuser.
You don't have to live your life by other's expectations. What dreams did you once have? They are not gone. Just buried right now. But they are within your grasp. But right now you just can't see it.
I hope this is helping you. Take the steps toward your happiness. The thing is, you have to make those steps. Nobody can do it for you.