Let me give you a few tips, according to the National Sexual Violence Survey, one in five women have experienced attempted or completed rape during their lifetime. There is a very interesting article https://newmiddleclassdad.com/prevent-domestic-violence/ in which a lot of interesting facts and details are discussed. In order to prevent domestic violence, there are guidelines that can offer much-needed support to people living with an abusive partner.   [End]
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How to write THERAPEUTIC LETTERS.. 3 💚💙💛 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . This Practice helps when: 1) You have many unspoken words, emotions and pain towards particular person. 2) You are not able to solve a problem with a particular person because they are not willing to open up or simply ignores you (if that person died but still there is something to tell - do so). 3) You want to solve the problem in that relationship but just do not want to involve that person in that. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ...
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One of the very important things to remember about an abusive situation is that it is a life-or-death event to leave. Any hint of leaving to any friend, family member, the abuser, the abuser’s ”friends,” mutual friends, or children cannot occur. Nobody should be informed, even though the victim may feel that they need to tell someone. Tell the Victim’s Services advocate or the counseling therapist, but tell nobody else, including the children. Children are the most vulnerable of all and they should never, ever be saddled with such heavy adult issues. Their tender souls and their par ...
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This message had been posted a number of times over the years, and it's always helpful to anyone who might be confused or living within the environment of abuse and domestic violence. Just because special holidays or milestones come up does not mean that an abuser's promise to "change" or "get better" is going to come to fruition. It won't. https://www.curezone.org/forums/fm.asp?i=796401 Read on: "'Tis the Season for victims of abuse, narcissism, and/or sociopathy to be WARY. Holidays are the perfect time for an abuser to act ou ...
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.. as I said one day - it’s Enough ONE Woman to Rise Any Man to the skys of Success and it it Also Enough ONE Woman to put Any successful man Down just like that too.. :) We - Women Can Do It All. And Vedas actually Prove it too. :). Woman’s Mind is VERY POWERFUL especially in that one who is Complete, Recharged and Knows her Worth... The one who Can Re-charge her man with that EARTH Energy she Can ONLY Possess and the one being accumulated through wearing Woman’s wear (like skirts, dresses to FEED herself with all that from the Earth; that energy starts Cerculating in a Totally Diffe ...
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Hello dear :) Yeah you might be right... but usually curezone blocks the function of editing in a few days since it was posted! I can check but perhaps nah... And my email address has changed now too coz I tried to open it from different location and it asks extra security info and I do not remember it :/ Anyhow... the ones who wants to get support can find me on fb using nadia (dot) ever (dot) green (dot) 123 (at) gmail (dot) com . Just put this email in a search program and you will find me :) I do not add strangers and also I KINDLY would like to ask ppl, who might contact m ...
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Dont hate yourself, hate him. I’ll put him in his place. Where is he?   [End]
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What horrible advice, actually says everything that would push that person into suicide. Call the Natl hotline for suicide prevention.   [End]
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Nadia, obscure your email address somehow. Use (at) or add DOT where the . ’s go, so you don’t get spam harvested. There are plenty of folk who would want to contact you, but a lot more who just send bots out wanting to grab your personal emailaddress for buggery. Take care, and many blessings in Jesus, -J   [End]
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I am 23, as well, and a guy, and #461 is right. The worst thing you can do is stay in vitctim mentality, and I can speak from personal experience regarding its addictive properties. Put as much distance between you and your ex (I hope he is now your ex) as much as possible. You deserve nothing less than peace, love, safety, and security. You are not the dangerous one. Your only fault is continuing to have any relations with him out of a lack of respect for yourself. You are better than this.   [End]
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I’d say your are trained to be a victim, and you keep going back to reinforce that belief. Get some counseling. This is called ADDICTION. As deadly as heroin.   [End]
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Hello, I am 23 years old. I met my first boyfriend when I was 19. He took everything from me. My virginity, innocence , and self respect. Last night he beat me up for the 25th time and I feel worse than I have ever felt. We are not together or living together but I gave in and went to see him. He pulled my hair out bruised my face and hit my leg with a broom stick. I recently was admitted to mental health because I was so emotionally tired from his abuse and lies. I don’t want to blame all of my problems on him but I know that he has a great contribution. It has been a while since I’ve bee ...
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Hello Forum.. Ok, a while ago I was an Admin on one of the FaceBook medical pages.. some time back I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him.. So here is a copy of that article. :) ......................................... SUICIDE… What c ...
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let me play the opponent here. Abuse is defined as 1) improper or excessive use or treatment 2) physical maltreatment So is a father badly treating his son by punishing him when he rightly deserves it? By punishing I don’t mean excessive physical abuse but just enough to get the message across. I’m a father and my son sometimes will not be goaded into studying by anything other than my inflicting pain on him. I just pinch his shoulder muscle a little and he hates it and then obeys. Before I became a dad I used to think that there were always alternatives to inflicting pain on disobed ...
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Once again, the month of October has rolled around and it is set aside as the "Domestic Violence Awareness Month."  Why we need to set aside any day or month to improve awareness is beyond me - this happens each year, and each year the reported cases of domestic violence and abuse has increased from the previous year’s collected data. Here’s what abuse and domestic violence IS, according to various sources: Physical  and Emotional Abuse Pulling your hair, punching, slapping, kicking, biting or choking you Forbidding or preventing you from ...
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I’m sorry you’ve had such a tough go of it. My younger sis had her 21 year old son murdered, and it’s been devastating for her. I don’t remember a life where I ever lost a child although with all the wars throughout history I must have. But in this life my grandmother who lost 2 sons AND two brothers, kept telling me--never have kids, they’ll only bring you pain. And quite frankly, I think she was spot on. I watch my sis and while feeling quite bad for her suffering, I still feel quite relieved for myself. Whew--dodged that bullet! I only remember the life where I committed suicide m ...
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WONDERFUL response....... To the original poster, it will never, ever, EVER ”get better,” no matter what he says, promises, or insists. And, you did not deserve what has been done to you. The poster, above, is also spot-on because the violence will only get worse. I cannot count the number of individuals who either ended up with life-altering injuries or upon a morgue slab when they left their abusers, and when they didn’t. When you prepare to leave, contact your local domestic violence hotline and they will help you to create a safe exit strategy. DO NOT tell anyone about ...
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That is horrible..but I would be very cautious about filing a restraining orders..read the book the gift of fear library may have it. anyone in a relationship with an abuser needs to read in that book why filing retaining order might get them killed or up the violence of what he does. These men often had secret lives and good standing in the community and often only the women or the kids living there know what monsters they are. restraining order only work if the man is afraid of potential arrest and most find there need to abuse and control stronger than that, so oftne they work to ...
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It is not you although you may inadvertently attract such men (mo than you attracting them). many abusers are psychopaths. they tend to be attracted to women who are supper and very highly empathic like the top 10% of the woman in empathy..there is a book called women who love psychopaths and someone told me that about the book. I was with a prince charming who turned out to be an abuser and I researched it very seriously and discovered that only 3% ever change and only if they have a lot of insight, do not put blame on the other person and have essentially lost everything (spouse, ...
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I am so sorry that you've jumped from the fire into the frying pan.  It might be a very wise option to choose to get out of this relationship, seek some intensive trauma counseling, attend a domestic violence support group, and do some serious recovery and healing before attempting another relationship.  It is definitely one of many choices available to you. One of the better clues for you in this situation is that he is in police custody.  This means that he doesn't care.  Not only about the neighbors, but about you, because you have been left t ...
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Having left a violent marriage after a year I met my now fiancé. He’s very violent whenever anything about exes is mentioned and I get punished for past behaviour. He’s currently in custody due to neighbours worrying about me from having heard so much. I love him so much but his outbursts are getting worse and more extreme hence his arrest. Is it me? Do I provoke it? Do I attract men like this? Help!   [End]
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I meant to address the discussion, above, about people who engage in victim-blame in the names of their chosen deities.  Take various cultural and religious beliefs that make a rape victim responsible for the "shame" that is brought to their family and stoning the victim, to death, to relieve the family of the victim of the "shame," legally.  If that isn't hatred, ignorance, and straight-up psychopathological thinking, then I cannot imagine any other examples in human history that would suffice.  And, there are plenty of groups and organizations tha ...
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Sadly, there are, indeed, individuals out there that are full of hatred, and they are known in the psychiatric/psychological communities as ”anti-social,” or, ”sociopaths,” simply put.  It is estimated that 20% of all human beings on this planet are sociopaths or psychopaths.  If a person meets the criteria of a sociopath, they do not have a conscience - this means precisely what it sounds like.  They do not have a sense of remorse .  They do not have compassion .  They do not have pity .  They do not have empathy .  They mimic whatever human responses that they observe to ...
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You can’t know the person if full of hatred, and to say they must hate God to blame the victim is evidence of your own internal workings. A person can be an atheist, completely convinced there is no God (therefore not hating God) and still blame the victim. Blaming the victim is a way for many people to avoid worrying about that crime happening to them. If they can figure out how it’s the victim’s fault, that also assures them it couldn’t happen to them because they wouldn’t make that mistake. If that is the case, the blaming is self-defense for them, so they don’t have to worry or do a ...
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I’m not like that, and I’m male, but I can explain it. This disturbing victim-blaming comes from a very simple self-defense mechanism people have in their minds so they don’t panic all the time. We’d all like to believe no crime or other bad thing could happen to us if we behave right. It isn’t true, but that’s what people would like to believe. When you read a news story of some horrible thing happening to somebody, you can take two paths (if your mind is simple): 1) you can constantly worry it’s about to happen to you and anyone you care about, or 2) figure out how, in the story, ...
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You obviously did the right thing when you broke up with him. You don’t owe any explanations to anyone. Not even to him or to yourself. Rememberi g all this abuse will juts do you harm. You are moving on to a new life without him. Just keep looking forward.   [End]
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It’s so horrible to hear these things... Really like a punch in my heart. The sad fact is that you really have nothing to do about it. If she doesn’t want to help herself, you can’t either. The only thing you could do to help her is to talk to her and make her understand she can get help and that she does not have to be there.   [End]
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even if it’s not their fault and of course it’s not. There are still ways to stay safer and to lower the chances of being attacked. If someone is drinking with people she does not know, it is her responsibility to always have her glass within eye contact. Even if it’s not her ”fault” if she gets raped, it’s her responsibility to look after herself. Hers and no one else’s. The world is full of bad people and of course being a victim can’t be her fault. But she can and should do whatever she can to prevent it from happening. Everyone is reponsible for themselves. Criminals and rapists are ou ...
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It is tough knowing there and staying here... but here is where we are... We are God’s playthings and of course God would not want His playthings to die... Quit before our plan is run... and that is what ran through my mind for years... but that is not the whole story about suicide. Suicide is not just killing yourself. Suicide is like one of those IED’s they use in suicide bombing only a depression incited suicide kills those we love. The hurt of suicides even carries on from generation to generation. Once it starts in a family... there is always a chance that even distant cousins will ...
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Hello Forum.. Ok, being an Admin on one of the FaceBook pages.. some time back I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him.. So here is a copy of that article. :) ......................................... SUICIDE… What comes on your mind wh ...
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Thank you! I wish you all the best!   [End]
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My lord, your story sounds painstakingly close to my own. My step father was the abuser and my Mother let it go on. She tried to be my best friend in later years telling me too much of her personal relationship and it made me angry, mostly because she forgot one element in that mess, me. I was a child growing up in a toxic environment, and she let it go on. She even lied to family about it when I finally broke down to my grandmother b/c I was afraid to go home. I was called a liar by my own Mother to save my Step Father’s own from being ”dragged through the mud”. I do hope this person fo ...
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PeacePlease7, I'm very sorry that you've had such awful experiences.  The "reason" that spaths get such a kick out of abusing the legal system for their own entertainment is because their victim targets react so perfectly to their designs.  It's not that we want to react, but long-term traumatization creates a host of behavioral and emotional issues that can cause us, the survivors, to appear   [End]
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Lost girl, there seems to be a rash of legal abuse perpetrated by sociopathic exes. That’s why I’m here too. I keep thinking ’OK. I made a mistake. So I married a sociopath. So why am I still being pursued for destruction 7 years after we divorced,with 1 to 3 suits for custody a year, still tearing down my and the kids support systems, keeping us impoverished and always in high tension, etc. How much karma is there really, I mean I made a mistake, right? So I married a sociopath.’ The truth is, as a friend put it, people don’t understand abuse or domestic violence as much as they ...
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The only thing the majority of victims of rape are guilty of is silence. They are far too often guilty of not reporting the crime. Some estimate that between 65% and 98% of rapes are never reported to police (depends on country, world region etc). If you are a serial rapist, and you rape 50 women, you could actually be so lucky that only few ever report it to police, which in reality makes it possible for a single person to rape 50 or even 150 women, and still walk free. WS   [End]
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Did you read the accusatory response on CureZone, or another site?  If you read it on one of the CZ religious debate forums, I will offer this insight with regard to such judgemental thinking:  someone who believes that another human being "invites" being raped is full of hatred.  Period.  They hate what they are, they hate what they aren't, they hate what they see, they hate what they think, they hate others for their humanity, and they hate God for whatever reason, but they continue to espouse what they twist and warp as "God's Message" t ...
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Actually, there are a lot of activities and behaviors which increase your likelihood of being raped, such as imbibing too much alcohol. This isn’t to say that rape is the victim’s fault (that’s a ridiculous proposition in the first place) but rather than engaging in certain behavior increases your chance of becoming a victim. In the same way that I’m probably safer in my living room than I am skiing down a mountain, you are safer drinking a low amount or no amount of alcohol rather than a large amount. As far as religion, it is full of contradictions and ludicrous propositions. So, i ...
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I just read an article about a girl who was told her rape was her own fault, this one in a religious context. I’ve heard of this happening tons to people, and something I wonder is how a person develops that behavior. Some of these people who say this about women haven’t always seen this in other people to mimic. They somehow just act like that out of nowhere. Where on earth could this specifically come from? And don’t tell me it’s genetic or something. There are many instances of it happening. A girl will be told how she’s dressed invited it, or she shouldn’t have been drinking (tons of d ...
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Fairydust75, I'm so sorry that you had that experience and that the female in that house is being battered.  You did the "right" thing by calling the police.  Typically, the police are required to file a criminal complaint of domestic violence whether the victim wants to press charges, or not.  Unfortunately, most victims of DV&A are terrified to press charges, and they're stuck in "Stockholm Syndrome."  There is nothing that you can literally "do" to save this woman from her abuser.  There isn't.  If the ...
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Hi, Just joined this forum. I really need some advice I have just moved out of a room in a shared house and am not sure what to do about this. In the house there was a woman renting a room with her partner (both mid 50’s) After living there for a few weeks it became apparent the guy was beating her up. He has done things like push her head down the toilet, punch, kick and headbutt her. Pushed food into her mouth until she was sick. I called the police on 2 occasions but she refused to press charges and told them nothing was wrong. The man then threatened cut my fingers off ...
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Hello Forum... Ok, being an Admin on one of the FaceBook pages.. some time back I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him.. So here is a copy of that article. :) ......................................... SUICIDE… What comes on your mind w ...
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I have never denied my actions and I have written about it, extensively, on this site, as well as others Suffice it to say that you do NOT play well with others and your ”area of expertise” isn’t reflected in your ONLINE behavior. What a nasty, juvenile, and cheap shot. Grow up.   [End]
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What a story. You have turned something so very bad into helping others. What a blessing you are to others.   [End]
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Thanks, Southern Belle - DV&A is a subject that I am only too familiar with. I have experienced every manner of abuse and violence with the exception of a broken bone at the hands of the former abuser. As a Survivor, I can honestly say that I always held out the false belief that ”something” would happen - a personal epiphany or lightning bolt from Zeus that would ”change” the way that things were. Well, it wasn’t going to happen. The moment when I came to accept the fact that the former abuser wasn’t going to change was NOT when he shoved a loaded .357 in my face and threatened to ...
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Excellent post!   [End]
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October has been designated ”Domestic Violence Awareness Month.” It behooves every human being to understand what Domestic Violence and Abuse is, what it isn’t, and how to take steps to break the cycle. Domestic violence has several subcategories: * intimate partner abuse * family violence and/or abuse * spousal rape * battering * dating abuse DV&A is typically a pattern of behaviors that results in the abuser controlling the victim. Some abusive behaviors are: * name-calling or putdowns * preventing a partner from contacting their family or friends * withholding ...
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Although I admire your desire to help, suicide is the side effect of an illness of the organ called the brain not a weakness. I must take exception with your belief that suicide leads one to hell. Would any parent condemn to eternal suffering their dearly loved child who was so distraught that they feel killing themselves was the only thing that would help. No they would seek help for their child and love them all the more,. Surely God as our father is much kinder and merciful than us,m mere humans. if we would not condemn neither will God. If someone is saved and accepted g ...
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Hello Forum... Ok, being an Admin on one of the FaceBook pages.. a few days ago I posted my own article about SUICIDE. One guy some time back contacted that FB page in order to find Help from Doctors to die quick... He tried to make it happen by drinking couple of Hundreds Sleeping pills but Doctors Saved him and he turned to that page. I am Extremely HAPPY that I saw that post of his even Not being an admin of that page by then. So I answred him and tried to talk Sense to him.. I will copy that article of Mine for you to read and also give a link redarding that one. I Kindly woul ...
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Over, and over, we either hear news of someone involved in an abusive relationship, or we know someone who is being abused by their partner. Typically, the first response is always, ”Well, why didn’t they leave?” Why, indeed.... ** 1 out of 4 women will be involved in an abusive relationship ** 1 out of 33 men will be involved in an abusive relationship ** 1.3 millions women and 990,000 men are currently involved in an abusive relationship ** 25% of same-sex relationships are abusive and/or violent ** 47% of Emergency Room injury treatment for women are as a result of ...
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Get a clue man, you are scared of the power of the female, so you feel you must dominate with your physical strength, inside you are just a scared little boy that wants mommy to love him. Deal with your fear and depravity now or deal with it later, later will be much worse.   [End]
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Great another circle talker... You are a jack@ss!!!   [End]
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I am SO grateful for your response to the original poster.  NO situation is "hopeless," and it sometimes takes many heads to come up with a reasonable, rational solution.  ABSOLUTELY, I would take this bull by the horns and turn the focus on him, starting with a consultation to a litigation attorney, and then to the HR Director.  Again, thank you for your insightful and sound response!   [End]
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I was head of HR for 2 large companies, and also had access to anything and everything. He is certainly not the top of the ladder, and if what you are saying is true, the company can be liable for his actions. You might want to contact another lawyer, and if it is true what he doing and the company is allowing it, you won’t have money issues for long. His actions can be traced. Turn the focus from him, to the company for the wrong doing of their HR manager.   [End]
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Sounds like you work at the same place.  I have no doubt that you’ve already considered another position with another business.  I am so sorry for your experiences, and it’s important to vent! One suggestion would be that you visit this website:  www.lovefraud.com I wish you the very best on your Healing Path.   [End]
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Thank you for your heartfelt support & advice. While I truly appreciate your wisdom, have basically done all of it! Somehow he is always several steps ahead of me. I am no longer a ”victim” but grow weary of fighting the good fight. I have 2 amazing therapists! I can’t have no contact since we have 2 girls together, my youngest has recently moved in with him. I have had 4 seperate bank accounts at 4 different banks. Same number of cell phones-”go phones” thought to be safe, wrong again! Have had locks changed, new email accounts, several different po boxes...to no avail. No point in c ...
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Lostgirl, I am so sorry to read of your experiences, and grateful for your recovery.  First, I would suggest that you change your CZ ID - you’re NOT "lost."  Did you ever engage in counseling therapy with a professional that "gets it" about what you’ve experienced?  I strongly recommend this option because there are some things the human psyche isn’t equipped to process without objective, rational, and insightful assistance.  To find someone that "gets it" about domestic violence and abuse, you can contact your local domestic violen ...
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I was married to a relentless, manipulative, lying, cheating sociopath for 23 years. I survived every type of abuse imaginable. He continued his abuse through the legal system. Then 2 years ago, my brain exploded. I had a double brain aneurysm. I should be dead. I am a living miracle! I have endured 2 subsequent brain surgeries. I am alive for some greater purpose. Yet, my ex won’t leave me alone. He sets up online accounts with my bank, my health insurance, my cell phone, my Internet, credit cards and then gains access to all my info. then blocks me from my pen accounts! He takes my mai ...
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sound familar except I have daughter sounds familar with mom too except she had sons and I sum it up to they loved themselves more there crack beer sex c**k suckef ect ect than they love there family and children like Rick james put it best cocaine is a powerful drug. just pray and hope for the best for yourself from now on. No need for toxic zombies in your life they will eat you brain.Stay strong also   [End]
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Hi... Anytime you focus on bad things that happened in the past you can very easily fall into depression. I struggle with this quite often. The key is acceptance and letting go of the past. Once you do that you can move forward in your life and start healing. Theres nothing you can do to change the past.... but you can make a wonderful new life now for yourself & your daughter without him. Put all your focus on the things you can do today that make you happy. When you focus on him and what he did to you, you are still giving him the power he had over you. Then of course you will ...
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I am going through a divorce right now. It has been almost 2 years since my husband and I have lived together. My husband keeps asking me why I am doing this to him. As a result of that I spend a lot of time thinking about our relationship and discovering more and more things that I had somehow forgotten. Things that I feel so disconnected from that it’s almost like I’ve been living in a fake life all this time. When we started dating me he hit me and choked me out of no where. I’ve always known it but it’s like I forgot or made it not real. When I was pregnant with our daughter I went to ...
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Sorry to hear this!   [End]
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I am horribly sorry for your loss.  I offer you my most deepest and sincere prayers and comforting thoughts.     [End]
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I made a memorial tribute to the love of my life who passed away October 19th, 2012, at the age of 26. She leaves behind 2 beautiful children, who will miss her deeply. Domestic Abusive is NEVER acceptable. Verbal, Physical, Emotional. Please like and share to get the word out. http://youtu.be/WGRgJHq8paw Misti Fowler Tribute If you have lost a loved one long before their time, please comment below. Her family can use every bit of encouragement possible to help through this hard time. PLEASE WATCH THIS VIDEO, AND SHARE IF ON FB, TWITTER AND ANYWHERE ELSE YOU CAN!!! https://www.fa ...
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I have second this. There is a history of abused women that make the misguided effort of taking matters into their own hands by fighting back, through 1) murder, 2) use of poisons, etc, and they get sent to prison for life!!! Seems unfair. But here is the problem. While abusive men are seen as crazy, and out of their mind, and not able to think straight, if an abused woman retaliates by intentionally and willfully hurting their husbands, then that is whole other matter. Its the basis of the law, MOTIVATION.. I agree that this post was very laughable, talking about food, incense, ...
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Venkvelaga, it is not my intention to ridicule your well-meant response, but it’s wrong - DEAD wrong.  If the victim (original poster) chooses to remain with her abuser, then no amount of aromatherapy, ambient lighting, or new-age philosophy is going to prevent her eventual murder - and, from her descriptions (and, if they are even remotely accurate), she will eventually be killed by her abuser. Suggesting that the victim attempt to create an atmosphere of tranquility is the most outrageous suggestion I’ve read or heard in a long, long time, online or in Real Life.  It is ...
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I’m worrying about the OP too. I’ve seen that look. Those bulging eyes like they are about to pop out of the head. My brother in law had this and he threatened to kill me. This man is harboring anger to the point of rage. The man really is crazy even if he can’t admit it to himself. There are some medical conditions which can cause this such as tumor. If you insist on staying in the relationship you could try improving the environment you live in so it is more uplifting mood. More light, fresh air, scented candles and good music. You could also adjust his diet to be more calming ...
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Yeah, me too. Life is totally in danger. It just a matter of when it will happen. I was in a similar situation, and I did not realize the severity of my predicament. I sought counseling, and did what my therapist and attorney told me to do. ESCAPE, but disappear when my ex leaast suspected. Otherwise, the act of leaving will escalate the violence. Better for you to be GONE GONE GONE GONE. You really dont have time, you need to get out.. But I do understand if you need to plan. Planning is always good. Do all the things to make your partner think that all is well. By now you know th ...
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I’m just wondering if the Original Poster of the message has taken steps to save herself.  Please, post back when you’re able.   [End]
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I agree with you   [End]
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Jurplesman, the unfortunate statistics with regard to the facts of domestic violence and abuse are not accurate, by a long shot.  The statistic are only gathered and combined by Law Enforcement and abuse hotlines.  There is far more abusive behavior that goes on than the general public will ever know about. Having worked as a parole officer, you’ve seen it all, and I agree with your insight on this grim situation.  I find that the original poster’s account is credible for many reasons, but the most basic reason is that it’s raw and to the point.  She needs to get the ...
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Speaking as a retired probation and parole officer I can say that your life is in danger. You have to get out of this situation as soon as possible. Get the help from a women’s refuge home, inform the police, carefully plan your escape.   [End]
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I would suggest that any man who treats his wife like ths is not or should not be considered a husband - get out and safe your life as he will kill you or attempt to at some point. Just get as far away from him as possible hide in another state whatever. He will no doubt be angry and try to take revenge on you. He has not earned the right to be in your life and you will find a better more peaceful exsitence without a monster like that. There are no excuses to treat anyone in the manner he has treated you.   [End]
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Ronbn49, have you ever shot someone in self-defense?  Have you ever been arrested for aggravated assault?  That’s a pretty glib response to someone who’s in dire need of serious suggestions.   [End]
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ever hear of a colt 45 to the knee cap   [End]
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I am so sorry that you’ve experienced this for so long.  There is only one way to stop this abuse, and he’s not going to do it - you will.  You’ll stop it by leaving, and leaving ASAP.  When abusers choose isolated living arrangements, it’s not to live a self-sufficient and self-sustaining lifestyle.  It’s so that they can perpetrate their crimes against their victims without the fear of witnesses.  I know this from personal experience.  You know what you’re dealing with, and you may not realize that you are a valuable part of this vast Universe after ...
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Call --- 1(800) 799-SAFE This is a hotline for battered women. The person on the other end of the line will help you get out of your nightmarish situation. Also, look at: http://www.thehotline.org/ For more info. Please make the first move! From the sound of it---and I don’t mean to be harsh but this must be said---your husband will eventually kill you. Call the hotline when he is out of the house. Tell them your story and don’t leave anything out. Tell the person on the other end of the line exactly what you wrote here and also be sure to add every detail that you ca ...
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Very sorry to hear this. There must surely be the possibility of you being able to call a special tel. nr. for abused women and get some advise. I´m hoping someone with more knowledge will answer your mail and be able to help you more. God bless you!   [End]
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I don’t have anyone to speak to. I have been married for 26 years, after the first year or so of marriage he used psychological abuse which grew extreme. But it is only the last five or six years that the physical abuse has occurred. We live very remote, he tells me whilst hitting me how he could feed my body to the pigs and there would be no evidence left, his threats are vile. Many many times he has held my throat, with his eyes popping out, and salivaring while screaming abuse at me, i have been left with bruises around my throat and suffered two perforated ear drums. Last night he ...
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 Your attachment to your brutal husband may be due to your low self-esteem and lack of self-regard that prevents you from taking control over your life. This low self-regard may stem from a similar metabolic disorder that gives rise to your husband’s behaviour and your own submissiveness. To see what you and your husband may have in common, read: Treatment of a Low Self Esteem Drug Addiction is a Nutritional Disorder   [End]
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Are you feelings sad because you don’t want to loose your husband or you don’t want to be alone ? I mean common, i agree that you love him but it does not mean that you should bare so much of pain from him. After all you are also a human being and you to deserve to live a happy life .. if you continue same then just think of the kids and your future...   [End]
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Donna Andersen, author and founder of LoveFraud.com, will be launching a National radio broadcast to educate the general public about sociopathy.  If you believe that a person needs to be a serial killer to be defined as a "sociopath," THIS BROADCAST IS FOR YOU!!!! Mark it down and listen in.  Donna is a "regular person" who was targeted and defrauded by James Montgomery and has become a foremost expert upon sociopathy and the subsequent healing processes involved.  She speaks plainly and truthfully about her experiences, ...
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Isn’t this spam?   [End]
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First of all, I am sorry that all of the above has happened. Since there is a diagnosis of an organic condition, the first step I would strongly urge you to take is to contact your psychiatrist, IMMEDIATELY.  If you are taking medications prescribed for your condition, alcohol (in any amount) can interfere with its function and cause numerous side effects.  If you are experiencing voices, I would strongly urge you to contact your mental health hotline, IMMEDIATELY!  Your condition is organic - it means that you haven’t chosen this condition and schizophrenia ...
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Early on, it seemed like she just got upset at things, and she would throw glass cups at the walls, which I would clean up. I always tried to ask what was wrong, what was bothering her, how I could help, and she would physically push me away and yell at me. I didn’t think much of it, as I was doing my best as her partner to help her combat her anorexia, bulemia and massochism. Her temper became more explosive, to the point of throwing a meal while still hot in the pan at the wall if she burnt it. As things worsened, she became more possessive of me. The one and only time that I had left th ...
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Blue Rose offered very sound suggestions and websites.  Get involved so you can heal from this. To address your concerns at the end of your post: *  If he can change and pull his life together, that’s great, but you are not responsible for his happiness, success, sobriety, or anger issues *  He does not feel the same way about you that you do for him, and he likely never will because, at this moment, he is incapable of caring for anything other than feeding his addictions - you and your children are not only secondary, but you’re all in the way of what he wants to d ...
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You start here: http://www.nar-anon.org/Nar-Anon/Nar-Anon_Home.html Look for a Nar-anon meeting near you. Also, here: http://www.coda.org/ Look for a Codependents Anonymous meeting near you. These are good first steps. Meetings are free of charge. However, donations are welcome. So, when you go to a meeting for either of these 2 groups, if you are able, donate what you can. Good luck to you --- and please get going!   [End]
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my husband for 10 years plus 2 boys together, i meet him in AA 10 years ago... i was there part of my program in college, i dont have drug,alcohol problem, my husband was sober when i met him, got marriage within 3 months together.. i notice he has some issue anger issue and being teretorial to me... i kinda like it first feeling wanted but then he started to become violent. to make a story short he was on and off of crack/coccaine for the intire marriege,violence come around but being young and naive thinking he is my husband for good and worst so i stick around.. conning, betrayal,steal ...
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I met him in the summer of 2007, He presented as a military man of almost thiry years, a humble hero, a man of morals and values, keeper of our country, proud of his military background. A good man of much character, going through a bitter divorce, claiming she got the friends, he was lonely, it was her fault things fell apart, she was using him financially, broke his heart. I am a person of compation and empathy, I felt so sorry for this man, we began a friendship. In the following months he shared with me, a horrific child hood, memories of neglect and terrible abuses by alchaholic pare ...
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One should make it as enjoyable as possible. Sex should be safe.   [End]
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Anderson Cooper Interviews Daughter Of Texas Judge Caught Beating Her On Video http://youtu.be/A84-9NoOSLc On Thursday evening, CNN’s Anderson Cooper sat down with Hillary Adams, the daughter of the Texas family court judge shown beating with a belt her in a now widely-circulated video . RELATED: Disturbing Video Allegedly Shows Texas Judge Beating Daughter; Internet Springs Into Action Hillary explained that her father’s methods of castigating her had devolved from merely ”corporal punishment” to full-blown physical abuse over the years and that, the night of the recorded beat ...
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Judge William Adams beats daughter, Hillary Adams 2004: Aransas County, Texas, Court-At-Law Judge William Adams took a belt to his own disabled teenage daughter, and excessively beats and verbally degrades her over the course of this 7 minute video, as punishment for using the internet to acquire music. Her mother, Hallie Adams, also seen in the video joins in the beating. Hillary has had ataxic cerebral palsy from birth that led her to a passion for technology. The judge’s wife claims she was emotionally abused herself by Judge Williams Adam. She’s since left the marr ... [Video Embedded Here]
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A friend passed away suddenly a month ago of a ”heart attack” at age 54. I just learned he had had a flu shot (the first he ever had) 3 days prior to his death. He didn’t have any prior heart issues. I am wondering if any one has any information regarding this kind of death connected with this years flu shot. Thank you   [End]
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I find that present trouble with batterers, from the jr gang that jumped/robbed me a month ago, to the yelling woman at church who mistreats children with her bad mouth, constantly, when I confront these things, I get all kinds of trauma awakened inside of me! I keep forgetting, everyone doesn’t go thru all of that! amazing isn’t it? Exercise helps me be a LOT more positive, so in spite of frigid temps, I hope to get out, today. Comments welcome! constructive only, of course :). M.   [End]
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Soulful, My heartfelt sorrow for the hurt you have felt. I wanted to point out one more regret that bothered me. That is: The loss of what I COULD have had if the world/individuals had been different. Are children ever well-treated, taught to expect fairness, seen as real and worthwhile, and given what is important and needed? In the animal world it seems that a mother, at least, would fight to the death for her child. Why not in the human world? Why doesn’t a mother, at least, instinctively know what her child needs? ...And doesn’t need? Why does every genera ...
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Once again, the "holiday season" is upon us and abusers have available countless opportunities and excuses to perpetrate more frequent and severe episodes of domestic violence and abuse against their victims.  Domestic violence/abuse includes:  emotional violence, verbal violence, physical violence, religious/spiritual abuse, financial abuse, and sexual abuse.  Domestic violence and abuse has no cultural, religious, sexua| orientation, ethnic, or economic boundaries.  There is no stereotype or profile for domestic violence to exist, and i ...
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Jesus. First of all. I got saved in the mid-70’s and to this day He is the only one who has been consistent. Always there. May not see Him. But I get very angry at times at God. Rant and rave about how He can just sit there and let all this sort of stuff happen. He is angrier than we are but that is the unchangeable deal: free will. He does not intervene when WE sin either. The last day will be....the Last Day and then He will deal with everything. Until then we must all cope. And..........unfortunately some of us must cope with quite a bit. I wanted to be a trophy w ...
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The University of Amsterdam (Department of Clinical Psychology) is conducting an online study on interpersonal relationships among people who have experienced one or more traumatic events. If you would like to see the survey and to participate, please follow this link: http://www.unipark.de/uc/UniAmsterdam The aim of this study is to examine how people experience social situations and interpersonal relationships and how these experiences are related to traumatic or distressing events people have encountered in their life. We expect the results of this study to help us improve tre ...
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I’m sorry to read about your personal issues - I know that you’re experiencing some very painful episodes. First of all, most abuse victims / Survivors were groomed to be victims as children either through neglect/abandonment, or outright abuse on every level.  The core of tolerating abuse, in my opinion, is an overwhelming need to be accepted.  We’ll put up with anything as long as we make ourselves believe that we’re "somebody," even if it means being a victim.  We will also endure abuse in an effort to please others and this goes back to feel ...
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I grew up being raped by my brother, until I was old enough to understand it was wrong, then he began physically abusing me until he joined the military when i was 14 (I’m now 24). A few months ago, my last counselor told me that my mother knew it happened because it would be only too obvious. (My father moved out when I was 11, after the sexua| abuse stopped) When I was 15, one of my fellow students had molested me. I told my best friend and though she promised not to tell anyone, she told everyone, including my boyfriend, except her story was that I was lying about it. People laughed ...
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That sounds like very good advice. Thanks White Tiger   [End]
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”My first thought is grab this child and run, however that isn’t the right answer and two wrongs don’t ever make a right! So don’t do that!” I must disagree with this statement. Where the childs life is at stake, do what you must to protect it. When there are laws that are not being upheld, corrupt authorities and unscrupulous judges etc... , then the rights of this child to live can be protected by breaking the unjust setup of the law.   [End]
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It sounded like this guy had another personality when he didn’t remeber his words. Or maybe he was just in denial.   [End]
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”be diligent and don’t wonder why he does what he does” A lot of times it is what they were used to seeing when they were young and so now feel that it is nomal behavior. It is truly ashame that some women must experience the needless hardship of being physically abused.   [End]
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Knowing is half the battle.   [End]
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This is really good info. I truely hope that others learn from your experience. Do let us know is everything going well for you today.   [End]
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When you consider that the basis for Christmas is an absolute lie (Santa Claus), Jesus wasn’t even born in December, the commercialism only adds undue stress the family structure, it promotes greed, . . . is it any wonder that the suicide rate in this country is highest during this holiday season than any other season in the world??? The catholics started Christmas by telling the pagans that they could continue celebrating the Saturnalis (rebirth of the sun) as long as they declared themselves ”Christian” and renamed their pagan holiday . . . Christmas. I’m glad I’m free. Yes, the t ...
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This is a very nicely sized list you have gathered and it will come in very handy to help others. Thanks for providing this. I plan on reading over this list and passing it on to ones who need it.   [End]
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This is good information. I think it should be shared with others to learn from.   [End]
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I remember seeing that news clip. I have never seen it that way. You suffered more than the journalist but yet the attacker on the journalist got more time in jail. Women should be protected better by the law.   [End]
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I fail to see what your post has to do with woman abuse. The open post is about woman abuse that is going on in the world of Islam. It is for educational purposes in this forum pertaining to women that are being abused. What does Christianity have to do with woman abuse, this forum or this thread? I really fail to see why? I do not think that this forum was here to DEBATE woman abuse or what is worse. Again I think that women are the beauty of this planet and deserves to be treated much better then to be kicked around like a dog just because the man is mad, in a bad mood, can’t ha ...
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you are absolutely right, this only happens in Islam. We should all become Christians. they only tend to sleep with children in churches. that’s not so bad as what they are doing in Islam   [End]
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Congrats. I am really glad that things worked out for you.   [End]
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This is very well put. Thanks for this enlightening post.   [End]
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That is correct. You do not have to waste some much energy and time anymore. Sometimes the abusive guy never gets it.   [End]
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I see that you got rid of the Bruce Lee pic. I like the picture you have now much better.   [End]
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This is a wealth of great information. Thanks Soul Survivor for sharing this for others to use.   [End]
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That is a great way to put it. I agree with this totally.   [End]
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IMO he is using your son to get to you. If your son is staying with him. Its like the Trojan House, once the giant wooden horse was brought inside the walls of their enemy, the Trojans came out of the horse and won the battle. In that respect, I think he would ask you can he bring your son over to you place, or can you come spend time with your son while he will be around. And there is always the case of him wanting the 3 of you to go on a drive, picknick, park, outing etc... you get the picture. I think the main thing is getting back in by using your son as the first point of cont ...
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How is it going with the physical support group? We all would like to know.   [End]
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I am glad to hear that you had the wisdom to get out of abusive relationships. It is hard for some women to accept that their husband/boyfriend is a hitter. Sometimes counseling can help, but sometimes the woman just needs to seperate herself from the physical abuser.   [End]
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I imagine it is a tough thing to go through. It’s like offering someone the medicine that will cure their condition, they refuse to take the medicne.   [End]
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I would like to know what everyone thanks of this. Islam is a religion that openly supports wife beatings. This video explains to muslims, how they should treat their wives. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWGA8i6scYY&feature=player_embedded Islam teaching 004.034 SHAKIR: Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleep ... [Image Embedded Here]
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I agree ginab4u!   [End]
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excellent suggestion.........thank you   [End]
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What a better reason to celebrate Christmas then to be free from an unpleasant past. I certainly can understand why you hate your ex husband, but why let him control you now. Release the pain of the past then you will be better able to enjoy the present. If you loved something at one time and lost it, take it back it’s yours! Merry Christmas anyway my friend.   [End]
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The "holiday" season is the worst time for increase in domestic violence.  If there are children, they are experience the withold/reward tactics of the abuser even worse.  Will there be gifts for the children?  Will there even be a holiday meal?  The last holiday that I spent with my ex, he didn’t "allow" me to purchase groceries for a holiday meal and instead, we had boiled hot dogs.  But, look at the expensive gifts!  All purchased on a credit account that he took out in my name!  I don’t hate the holidays, but I don’t see the hol ...
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I do ! I love the feeling of winter and Christmas in the northland I love the serenity I feel I love the smiles on peoples faces the children frolicking in snowsuits . I especially love the music of Christmas! I read recently that the American women ,mothers, housewives spends an average of 340 some hours prepping for Christmas. This would not thrill me either! Relax, take Christmas for what it is, a time of JOY!   [End]
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 Hi. I hate christmas too, but not as much as when my kids were little and I felt forced to participate. I let commercialism consume me and my children with greed and guilt. I haven’t done christmas for 10 years and people around me finally "get it".  I hate being forced to do anything. I do what I want to do when I want to do it and sometimes that includes trees, big meals and presents but only when it’s coming from my heart, and it’s never on christmas day (I work most holidays). I don’t expect anything from anyone on birthdays, holidays etc. and no one exp ...
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I do love Christmas, but I can also tell you you’re not alone. I have a friend whose brother died in December. My friend was only 25 when I met him; I think his brother died when he was about 21. For many years, the holiday season and most of winter was a time of melancholy where he would withdraw socially. It was a hard time of depression for him. I’ve also known what it’s been like not to be around family and Christmas was just like an empty Saturday. My husband says it’s hard to be deployed on Christmas. Maybe it’s a good time to volunteer at a shelter or something... or if y ...
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This is the time of year for friends and family to get together. Unfortunately I will not see or be able to visit some of my children or grand children. My post today is to see if there is anyone else who finds Christmas a depressing time of year? I have published my life story at www.bbc.co.uk/mystory/stories/family-and-friends/151208/ Title: The Impossible Dream. If you want to know the details. Take care - do let me know if you also have a problem this festive season. THANKS   [End]
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I have just written my Life Story and sent it to www.bbc.co.uk/mystory/stories/family-and-friends/151208/ Title: The Impossible Dream. Looking back I believe I am a survivor not a victim. The bbc are going to pick 15 people for a TV program and possible book publication. If that happens I will at last be able to tell the full details of what happened and how I coped or didn`t at times. Thank you in advance to anyone who views and ticks if they like it. I would value any comments.   [End]
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