Re: Life-long list of abuse

Jesus.

First of all.

I got saved in the mid-70's and to this day He is the only one who has been consistent. Always there. May not see Him.

But I get very angry at times at God. Rant and rave about how He can just sit there and let all this sort of stuff happen. He is angrier than we are but that is the unchangeable deal: free will. He does not intervene when WE sin either. The last day will be....the Last Day and then He will deal with everything.

Until then we must all cope. And..........unfortunately some of us must cope with quite a bit. I wanted to be a trophy wife. Big house, fur coats, luxurious vacations. Didn't get that deal. Instead I got abusive all the way around the block, like you. Now I have an abusive husband who claims to be an abused husband because I speak about his abuse. He doesn't want to be confronted about what he does. Perhaps if I wouldn't talk about it we could all smile for the camera, huh?

So be kind to yourself. Make sure you do not beat up on yourself in your abusers absence. I do that quite a bit and am in the process of stopping it. Try to find a good church with free counselling. My church was (last church) was too busy making the pastor look like a big shot and gave away almost a million dollars last year but no effective counseling to speak of (fobbed it off on "small groups. Oh, please.) So find a good church. And ONE good friend. Mine moved but we still email and it weren't for her, I don't know what I'd do.

Come to the board here but be very careful. I was on here years ago and got the crap beat out of me because I wasn't ready to LEAVE AND LEAVE NOW (I was on my deathbed almost and needed alot rest. Last night I slept from 9:30PM to 9:30 AM this morning....still very weary from a very hard life....so you know what you need. Again be careful what you say to others because it's a BLOOD IN THE WATER world out there as you have discovered. So be discreet.)

I'll help you all I can but again.... God and you make a majority, dear. He is all you will ever need. ;O) Tweet