I don't have anyone to speak to.
I have been married for 26 years, after the first year or so of marriage he used psychological abuse which grew extreme. But it is only the last five or six years that the physical abuse has occurred.
We live very remote, he tells me whilst hitting me how he could feed my body to the pigs and there would be no evidence left, his threats are vile.
Many many times he has held my throat, with his eyes popping out, and salivaring while screaming abuse at me, i have been left with bruises around my throat and suffered two perforated ear drums.
Last night he dragged me, like a dog on my knees, by my fringe, my already thin hair, is now like a clowns, afterwards i was slumped with my back to the wall and he repeatedly banged the back of my head on a solid wall, i saw stars, the attack continued with him saying i was very lucky as she should have finished me off long ago, during this he kept swinging hard thumps on my head,i saw stars again, i now have huge painful lumps all over head. During bad attacks he issues death threats, screaming them in detail.
This morning i look in the mirror and the only evidence from last night is red my swollen eyes from crying. He is very careful now not to give me bruises and black eyes anymore.
After an attack he says nobody will believe me, because i am still there, and says he will explain i am unstable.
I have no where to go.
In the past when all has calmed down, and i say i want the abuse to stop he denies it and says it didn't happened. Nobody he speaks to would believe what he is capable of, he behaves so charming and helpful towards others,i think if only they knew.....
I just had to get something of my chest.