Re: About people saying women cause their own rapes

I'm not like that, and I'm male, but I can explain it. This disturbing victim-blaming comes from a very simple self-defense mechanism people have in their minds so they don't panic all the time.

We'd all like to believe no crime or other bad thing could happen to us if we behave right. It isn't true, but that's what people would like to believe.

When you read a news story of some horrible thing happening to somebody, you can take two paths (if your mind is simple): 1) you can constantly worry it's about to happen to you and anyone you care about, or 2) figure out how, in the story, the victim did something that you (and those you love) wouldn't do to provoke the attack, therefore you don't need to worry.

So, it's actually a way to reassure themselves that "this couldn't happen to me, because I wouldn't...."

Unfortunately, the same people with a mind simple enough to see only those two options, are too simple to realize they are hurting other people with their stupid opinion.

We all want to feel safe, and want to feel like the world is fair. When we see a story that sounds unfair, we want to believe there's some way to avoid it happening to us. When we see the homeless person, we think they must have made a lot of bad decisions in their life to get there, so it couldn't happen to us. We love it when we see the homeless person drinking because we can just say, "see, they're an alcoholic and they let alcohol ruin their lives." Then we stop by the bar and have a drink on our way home.

I don't like it, but I also look for something in every crime story that I could do to avoid a similar fate. I won't necessarily do it, but I try to find that "mistake" the other person made that I can vow to avoid. Tweet