Re: Anyone else haunted by obsessed ex?

Lost girl, there seems to be a rash of legal abuse perpetrated by sociopathic exes. That's why I'm here too. I keep thinking 'OK. I made a mistake. So I married a sociopath. So why am I still being pursued for destruction 7 years after we divorced,with 1 to 3 suits for custody a year, still tearing down my and the kids support systems, keeping us impoverished and always in high tension, etc. How much karma is there really, I mean I made a mistake, right? So I married a sociopath.'

The truth is, as a friend put it, people don't understand abuse or domestic violence as much as they should, andthat perception is based on a conceptual man who is outright violent, a bit antisocial and obviously a jerk. People really don't understand or wish to understand (its scary shit and is becoming more common place in our society) the idea of the sociopath. He's a 'nice guy'. He's good at playing the victim one feels pity for, he's got lots of practice from manipulating and observing victims to know how to act like one (I say 'he' only because that's my experience, they do predominantly come in male form statistically, but not all sociopaths are male).

I drove myself crazy for years trying different ways to deal with it. Different approaches with him. All while he year after year goes after every entity from school district personnel at my kids' schools, to even my former therapist (breach of privacy laws much?), and he's good at what he does, the convincing them to actually break laws, just to get at me. Its the most isolating experience to be the ex of an obsessed sociopath. I wouldn't wish it on any human, not even him for karma's sake. I am sorry you share this experience. Or any one does. But I am grateful, coming up on another custody hearing, to have found others who know what it is. Really understand. There came a point about a year and a half ago when after another court loss, and hitting rock bottom on any kind of hope of recovery, in any way (over 10 years of dealing with him and the continual hell of abuse, even when not together anymore) that I stopped functioning except for my kids sake. So I'm grateful. And send what love I have left not walled up in my being to you, me and all those silent or speaking (often to deaf ears) who are in this situation, one they said not create, they cannot control, they cannot cure.

And that in general people want to ignore.



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