Thanks, Southern Belle - DV&A is a subject that I am only too familiar with. I have experienced every manner of abuse and violence with the exception of a broken bone at the hands of the former abuser.
As a Survivor, I can honestly say that I always held out the false belief that "something" would happen - a personal epiphany or lightning bolt from Zeus that would "change" the way that things were. Well, it wasn't going to happen.
The moment when I came to accept the fact that the former abuser wasn't going to change was NOT when he shoved a loaded .357 in my face and threatened to shoot my children in front of me, then me, then himself! It was when a dear neighbor passed dramatically from a long terminal illness. He expressed not one ounce of grief for her passing - he only demanded to know what "took (me) so long" when she was taken off in an ambulance and died in the 10 minutes that it took to get to the nearby hospital.
I'm educated. I was raised in a middle-class environment. I was introduced to "polite" society and was taught etiquette and proper social conduct. I am the face of the typical target of an abuser.
So, if sharing my experiences helps one person to break the cycle, it's a WIN.