This is the flower essence that helped me with the empathy and energy draining problems I had up until last year. Sounds very similar to Gracey. I did not have time to read whole thread but you guys seem to be working things out. Maybe this can be tried as it worked immediately for me until I learned how to build boundaries and protect my energy from those that would grab it to strengthen themselves. Very cheap 5-6 dollars at health store and I had no need a month or so later as I said. I am told that my aura is much stronger and holes have been healed.
Yarrow Achillea millefolium
(white)
Positive qualities: Inner radiance and strength of aura, compassionate awareness, inclusive sensitivity, beneficent healing forces
Patterns of imbalance: Extreme vulnerability to others and to the environment; easily depleted, overly absorbent of negative influences, psychic toxicity