Re: empath = emotional sponge

I've heard the term "emotional vampire" - is that what you were thinking of? Not sure just how sound a pyschological term that is, but it sure does seem to fit some exhausting people I've met. ;)

Yes, heard "emotional sponge" before. It does fit. However, personally I don't really like using it as it somehow seems "passive" to me, like there's nothing I can do but sit there and soak up everyone elses junk. You know, sponges just kind of sit there, even in the ocean, just waiting to be used. Then again, maybe that's just how I see it. =)

I much prefer thinking of it as a gift and a tool that helps me in my daily dealings with other people. If someone is giving me a hard time for apparently no reason, I can *feel* what they're feeling and see that *I* actually have nothing to do with it! It's like I'm just a safe or convenient outlet, a symbol of whatever's bugging them that they are unloading on. It also helps me to see where they're coming from and respond to that rather than all the gunk they're piling on.

They don't have to be agreed with, just acknowledged. Ever had a grumpy waitress and felt moved to say something like "yeah, it's rough dealing with people all day who take you for granted. And it seems that the worst ones leave the smallest tips!" It's absolutely amazing how quickly their attitude towards you changes, especially when they agree completely and tell the story of the last table that just stiffed them on their tip! ;) [Extra benefit: I tend to get really good service in restuarants, hehe]

Sometimes people just want their feelings recognized. Of course, some *other* times those shields come in right handy! lol

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