Re: Sibling molestation

I haven't gone through and read every reply, so if what I'm about to say has been said, please accept my apologies.

First thing, I'm a 34 year old guy with a 6 year younger sister - so she's 28 now.

When we were younger, I think I was in Jr. High, she and I were showering - or rinsing off from playing outside in the sprinkler or something and I tried to touch her vagina. She stopped me, and nothing ever happened again, but it's something that's bothered me ever since.

Thinking back on my situation, it was probably just sexual curiosity and I'm not sure why I did it. I know that her reaction was enough to keep me from ever trying it again!

I have since spoken to my sister about it, after watching an Oprah episode about a lady who was making a documentary about women with her same name and coming to realize in talking to these women that almost all of them had been sexually abused. (http://www.searchingforangelashelton.com/)

I told her what I had seen, and that what I had done years before had bothered me, and that I wanted to apologize. She said that she never thought about it again, but thanked me for being thoughtful enough to bring it up for discussion.

I don't know if anything I'm saying will be any help, but I think just educating children about sex could be the answer.

I also don't have children yet, but my wife is very good with kids, and her stance is that your kids should trust you enough to be comfortable discussing ANYTHING with you. And if they ask questions, you should be as open and honest with them as you can.
Unfortunately, kids are exposed to sexual images and themes way too early, which a may mean that we as parents (and potential parents!) have to head off any curiosity before it becomes a problem. I think that hiding sexuality will only breed secrecy and deceit. There are probably healthy ways of educating kids without taking away their innocence; I'm just not the guy with that answer!

I hate to think that your son is being punished for doing something that he might not have known was wrong in the first place. I think that as long as you approach your discipline with him in a loving way, he'll "get it" that's its wrong and never do it again. I'm afraid that any harsh discipline might screw him up 180 degrees in the other direction... maybe he'll have sexual issues that prevent intimacy because he's been scared since this occurrence.

I'm just talking out loud here, and I am in no way an authority on any of this, and my comments are meant to spur more comments, and open dialogue. If what I said is totally wrong according to many child therapists, then I'm wrong - they know much more than I do about the subject, these are just my off-the-cuff thoughts. Tweet