Sorry, my dear, but in my opinion, you have grossly unrealistic expectations, as you clearly live in La La Land.
No man can ever satisfy your desires. Men & women are extremely lucky to give each other ogasms. That is what sex is all about..... ogasmS. THAT is what boosts the spirits for for both men & women. And as you already know, women are very lucky to find a man that can give her ogasms by any means at all.
I wish you the best of luck satisfying your most unrealistic desires. IMO there is not one man in a million that would put up with your La La Land nonsensical desires.
Best to you,and I suggest that you just be happy with any man that makes the effort to give you your wall shaking, wake-the-neighbors ogasms.