I just love it when you talk sex. You are so articulate and entertaining.
I do agree, some woman can get her ogasm from intercourse. Unfortunately my wife is not among that minority group. She is among the majority 70% group of women that Dr. Betty Dobbs reports cannot reach vaginal ogasm. She also does not have any vaginal "Spots." No "G" spot, and no "D" spot. She does enjoy intercourse, but ogasm that way is out of the question. However she is perfectly normal with her clitoris. She does get her wall shaking, window rattling ogasms when I massage her vulva & pubic area. She does need a really good lubricant, we use SYLK made with the Kiwi Fruit. At 68 yrs old, her normal lubrication no longer works like it did in her youth. We found SYLK to be next best thing to natural.
I'm sure that every couple is different, and has a different story to tell. The end goal is to get it off as best we can and help each other feel REALLY good.