"What they are longing for is a genuine union of souls that is attained by conditioning themselves to cum together"
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Very sorry to say this, but You are living in La La Land.
Women are lucky to get an ogasm at all, and simultaneous ogasms are mission impossible. Dr. Betty research makes this fact loud & clear. http://dodsonandross.com/
We get around this problem easily. I give the wife her wall shaking ogasm first with my Magical Fingers and Sylk Lubricant, and then she gets me off the way Daddy like it. That works great for us.
I'm sure other couples have their own best routines to get each other off. Some like dildoes, vibrators or other sex toys. Some like oral sex, and I say to each their own pleasures.