Church members can be very hard on people. They are sometimes so full of themselves that they can't see how they hurt others.
Jesus spoke against their pride in Lk 18:10 The Pharisee and the publican.
The idea of being tortured in hell forever crept into the church from Greek Mythology. The bible dosen't support it. Mal 4:1 says the proud and the wicked will be gone.
Everlasting life is for the saved, not the lost. The thing that's everlasting about the punishment of the wicked is the result of the fire. They are dead and gone forever.
Rev 21:4 says there will be no more crying or pain. I have four children and two grandchildren. If I were to go to heaven and they didn't I could never be happy if I thought they were in pain. If I knew they were just gone and wouldn't be happy in heaven anyway, I could learn to be at peace.