Re: Don't keep trying, just try to find peace!

Thank you for your supportive message.

if you want to pray for me that's okay. However, I personally have seen no benefit from praying, in my personal experience. When I meditate, I chant and count with a mala (string of beads like a rosary) because it occupies my mind better than concentrating on my breathing. I guess I am just sick of the whole Western culture model of religion, and find Eastern religions to be wiser and more sensible and deeper.

Harold Kushner, a rabbi, wrote a book called "When Bad Things Happen to Good People". He said that people should pray, not because they can talk to God, but because it makes them feel like they are part of a community. I think if he was a Christian he would not have admitted that prayer does not necessarily work! Jews are permitted to ask questions, fortunately. I haev a lot of respect for Jews because of their intellectual traditions and accomplishments. They don't put a lot of stock in heaven, in my understanding, because they think you should do good while you're here, since we don't really know what is on the other side of death. I think that is a good practical philosophy. I almost became a Jew several times in the past.

I don't rant and rave at God. I think "God" is a concept invented by people as a name for their projections. I think it's ridiculous that "God" would have a gender, a face, a body, if there is a Supreme being or Great Spirit or Ultimate Truth.

Sigmund Freud said that people invented religion because they had psychological needs for a Daddy Figure to protect them, love them, and punish them. And to tell them they are special and holy. I think Freud was correct. He also considered fanatical religious beliefs to be neurosis.

I think that stuff happens and it's kind of random. I don't blame bad stuff on God. I have had a lot of bad stuff happen to me that I had absolutely no control over, and could not do anything to change it. Some of it was meanness by other people, and some of it was random things like illness and death in the family.

The only thing I can do is to survive it and go on. I can tell you what I Think my job in life is. My job is to find my own spiritual truth, whatever that is. I do not tell other folks they are going to hell if they don't believe the way I do. I just avoid them if they try to convert me and I have been bullied and belittled and even come to blows over beliefs.

I have been laughed at (by an ignorant Assembly of God relative who knows far less about the Bible than I do) when I was explaining my beliefs, and i was in tears when I was expressing myself. What did I say? I quoted a Chinese fellow named Lin Yutang, who said "All I know is that if God loves me half as much as my mother does, he will not send me to Hell." I was ridiculed for that. And his wife screamed at me as a HEATHEN!!!

Christians are BULLIES! I wish they would go in the closet and pray in secret, like it says in Matthew, in THEIR book.


My job is to figure out what I can do to spread love in the world through my actions, which is part of the Eightfold Path.

IN the Gospel of Thomas Jesus said "If you do not bring forth what is within you, it will destroy you; if you bring forth what is within you, it will save you." I think that positive self expression is what is truly fulfilling. Anyone should be able to spread love through their job and their relationships if they just think about what they are doing.

BTW, my girlfriend and I are starting an indoor painting business (wall painting and murals and crafts) and we plan to add a little beauty to the world! ;-D