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The End of This 16 y
Mein Kopf ist yetzt kaput
Well, I’m more than 2/3rds way into the number of days where I’d planned to do a daily focus of intentions on my goals, in particular health and food issues. It appears I have made zero progress. This method hasn’t done anything additional. Don’t get this to mean that I give up on improving my habits and health, or continuing with any of my other goals. Focus is good but this method of trying to focus is not getting me anywhere. So I’m aborting b/c at this point it appears tedious. I’ve also come to some conclusions about the Law of Attraction and how it is commonly perceived. I alr ... read more Sunday (Day 68) 16 y
Working on food issues. I know, I know, if it seems never ending to you, think how it is to me. But giving up means accepting fatness and bad health... I eat more healthy foods than ever before so there is progress. I'm working on improving... taking the next step. It is worth it.
I decided to skip some days. I was getting so rushed this past week and the past few entries were hurried without real time put into thinking and feeling about what I really want. So today is not consecutive. It’s about a week later. I am soooooo busy (woooooooooooo!) with 3 classes ending (finals!) and my hubby coming back - all 2 weeks from now! So yeah, I’ve been busy.
What I’ve been thinking about this weekend is my diet, of course. I’ve been messing up again, overate a couple times and noticed it doesn’t feel good. I also noticed that sometimes when I feel like I should go e ... read more Monday (Day 67) 16 y
Staying focused
I’m getting better at not goofing off at work and being focused on getting stuff done. This is partly due to having more interesting stuff to do and having a lot to do! Yup, I’ve been busy. It was a relaxing day at work today, a good start. I’m still working on habits of being kinder and not ridiculing privately. The ridiculing came with me becoming part of a ”click” - they are fun... but also excluded 2 guys at work that are kind of screw ups. It’s easy to make fun of them b/c they really are screwups, but them being bad at their job really isn’t reason to be cruel. So doing better ... read more Sunday (Day 66) 16 y
Stating what I would like in health, work and school
Day 2 of the MC, feeling fine. Just like to say a few quick words:
Health & Food:
- I wish to be completely comfortable and in control with food.
- I would like to eat healthy consistently.
- I think it would be wonderful if I ate what my body needed in amounts it wants. I know this feels good physically.
- I am enjoying the break that the MC provides and am looking forward to working on my improved food habits when it is over.
School:
- I want more than anything else to get into a graduate program that will take me to my life goals for work.
- I love the idea of delving into ... read more Saturday 16 y
Stating my intentions for Health, School and Work
Well, it’s been busy, what with a friend in town and work and stuff. I won’t be writing much about food plans so much, perhaps some intentions but I am doing an MC. I haven’t done once since early December and I usually do it for 14 days. So MC for now. I intend to be able to eat consciously and create good habits that will help me maintain weight loss better than I have in the past. I keep going back and forth with the same 15 lbs. I guess that is what they call yo-yo dieting? At least it’s not a larger number like 50! Yikes! So yeah at this weight I want to go down again. The M ... read more Monday early 16 y
Slipping a little so working on eating consciously today. Don't feel so good but oh well..
I guess I was a little bit in vacation mode b/c I was hanging out with a friend who is out here on vacation. I was a little less conscious about eating although I didn’t eat a lot yesterday. Even so, my tummy feels wobbly lately and I haven’t respected it. So today my intention is to go back to conscious eating and listen to what my body wants to do. I had something early this morning and don’t feel too good so I will be more careful. Soup may be the meal of the day. I feel pretty mucus-y. (yuk) So I got myself an alkalizing drink today which is yukko. I tell ya, the taste of blac ... read more Monday early 16 y
Slipping a little so working on eating consciously today. Don't feel so good but oh well..
I guess I was a little bit in vacation mode b/c I was hanging out with a friend who is out here on vacation. I was a little less conscious about eating although I didn’t eat a lot yesterday. Even so, my tummy feels wobbly lately and I haven’t respected it. So today my intention is to go back to conscious eating and listen to what my body wants to do. I had something early this morning and don’t feel too good so I will be more careful. Soup may be the meal of the day. I feel pretty mucus-y. (yuk) So I got myself an alkalizing drink today which is yukko. I tell ya, the taste of blac ... read more Food & LOA (Saturday) 16 y
Update on food habits and thoughts on the Law of Attraction
Today I’m on a lil mini-vacation on Maui with a friend of mine that came out to visit me. Even though we’re on vacation, I have still had decent habits. I had a little junkfood out here, shared some Hawaiian chocolates with her that I really like, had some ice cream. Even though I didn’t make pure healthy choices, I didn’t get all stupid about it. The worst I did was eating till a bit over-full b/c I was falling asleep at this internet cafe where I need to get some homework done (ok, I’m not 100% on vacation, still too much to do). She’s out on a boat looking for dolphins. I did not ... read more Friday 16 y
Today's entry is about work mostly
Work is very good. I just about *died* yesterday from stress, putting out a fire, going nuts, trying to get everything done and I worked 14 hours. Today is so relaxed. Work sent me to our Maui office to do an install. Plus I got some kudos for taking care of things yesterday. I really like the atmosphere at this office, so relaxed and pleasant. I really like the people. I feel good. It’s a good vibe to keep me on track with my goals to be both kind and effective at work.
Food is going good and I stepped on a scale. It is a different scale and different time of day than before I ... read more Thursday, Day 56 16 y
Things are picking up *yay* 4th or 5th day on the new eating habits I think...
I seem to be getting good at my practice of not emotionally eating and not eating to the point of too full. I’ve not yet done much of leaving food on my plate when I felt I could’ve stopped a little early, but I’ve also been sensible enough to arrange for there not to be a lot of food in front of me. I left some food that didn’t have that much appeal rather than eat it mindlessly anyway. I think I’m really doing good here! I’m really liking this coping method of eating. It seems to be working well, and I’d like to imagine that I’m starting to deflate a tad. Maybe it was just my belly ... read more Wednesday (Day 55) 16 y
Things are looking up in all 3 areas: school, work and weight/food/health. Actually, school is always good - the other 2 are looking up. :)
Wow, I skipped another day. BAD ME! I’M SUCH A SLACKER!!! LOL
I will have a busy 2 weeks and have had a incredibly busy last week. A friend just came into town. At the same time I still have my 3 classes and work is super crazy busy with 3 classes. So back to my goals.
In the last 2 days I’ve done very well implementing the new eating habits. I’ve actually had moments that my eating enjoyment greatly increased due to my practice to make it conscious. I watched a few episodes of that ”I Can Make You Thin” and there were a few times where I started to get a desire to eat when I ... read more Monday (day 53) 16 y
Fooood
I’m looking forward to this week. I ate very well yesterday, feeling good. I’m looking forward to bringing about a new way of eating, eating consciously, same thing I was trying to build a habit of but now I believe I know where I went wrong. I have a friend in town for vacation and I don’t plan on pigging out, so to speak - then I wouldn’t be able to enjoy the vacation because I would feel bloated and lazy. I will show her good foods and I will eat some. I’m feeling good about the week to come and we’re going to have fun! :-) visit the page Sunday (Day 52) 16 y
Hey a girl wants what she wants...
So I started this trying to see if by focusing or affirming my positive desires, that would be enough to put me on the right path to slenderness and health and to not fighting with food anymore. While my attitude and feeling on food has become more relaxed, I have not moved towards my goal weight in pounds. I’ve never believed that either psychology or biology stood alone in a cause and effect relationship to most (if not all) things in our lives. This is not different.
Some approaches say that you can’t deny yourself any one thing but in general eat well. I tried to take that appro ... read more Saturday Day 51 16 y
I don't believe the whole philosophy as-is but I believe there is enough truth - enough profound truth - that following it would bring lots of good things.
Today I went and tried out for Deal or No Deal. I didn’t make it but it was a different experience. It’s too bad. All the thoughts I’ve had about $100,000 for school, that would do it. It did get me going on kinds of good focused thoughts on the possibility of acquiring $100,000 for school and how great that would be and how I would be able to go to grad school full time for a while. I would love to have this come my way.
I do have my doubts about the Law of Attraction philosophy. I don’t believe the whole philosophy as-is but I believe there is enough truth - enough profound trut ... read more Thuuuuursday - regression! 16 y
some questions in my mind about how to work this out
Well today I messed up pretty bad. :-( Ah well. I’m much better in my head about messing up so I would think this is progress in terms of the Law of Attraction philosophy. Ah, but I’ve gained weight in the past month. Ultimately I want to lose. Some philosophies talk about sugar addiction but I don’t buy that it’s a completely physical addiction. Ikk, I dunno but I feel like I’m off track, I’m past due anyway for doing an MC (I usually do the Master Cleanse quarterly and I did it in December). I’d love to start now but I have a friend coming out in a few days so I’m thinking I’ll d ... read more Wednesday (Day 49) 16 y
Quickie - work on changing habits
This morning I got up and did a weights routine that was nice and left me wobbly. I did 1/2 good yesterday on my new habit and 1/2 not so good. I’m training myself to listen to my body’s cues (imagine that!). So I will consider today day 1 of creating this habit. I ate yesterday when not hungry but I did not stuff myself so it wasn’t too bad.
Today I intend to listen to my body and spirit and get on a path of peaceful eating & thinking. This is the main goal today as I work. visit the page Tuesday (Day 48) 16 y
looking forward to feeling good about food and not having bellie aches in the morning
Day 1 again of starting the new eating habits. I lapsed but that’s okay. It started with an *awesome* Italian dinner so at least it was worth it! ;-) But I also really ENJOYED the feeling I had when I was following the eating habits so I’m back to it today, looking forward to feeling good about food and not having bellie aches in the morning.
visit the page Monday (Day 47) 16 y
Things to appreciate
I’m very happy that I have good health. I know I’m bugging about getting FANTASTIC health, but the health I do have enables me to do tons of stuff and I don’t have any major issues. I was able to find a cure for my UTI’s and I’m very grateful for that. And since taking some of the alkalizing drink (minus pickling lime water which I don’t have yet), my skin has gotten better.
I’m very happy about my friends and family. They are good - my friends and husband especially. I love them. I got some friend-bonding yesterday and that was nice.
I’m very grateful for the opportunity to do ... read more The new habit started out well 16 y
Just an update...
I had a really good day and a half. I let myself overeat at a party today but I’m not upset about it. I was kind of upset about it after b/c I didn’t feel physically good from it, but other than that, not so much. I don’t think it will mess up what I’m trying to do because I really like how I’ve felt about food these last 2 days so I will keep on working with the 4 Golden Rules of eating because I like them. I’ll be happy to give updates as I go through this re-working of my habits.
In the meantime, about work and schoolwork and such, I still have a lot to do but I think I’m getting ... read more Day 1 of new habit making I hope 16 y
got response on the knee question...
My first day working on my new eating habit went extremely well. I’ve had single good days of course, but I feel really good about this one so I’m looking forward to 21 days and hoping then it becomes second nature. 21 days to a new habit, yes?
I’ve also posted about my knees and was pointed towards Law of Attraction and knees being related to pride/ego/too much ”I”/not enough ”thee”. hmmm.. interesting. Also, fear and inflexibility. On these two points I would say ”nay”, not too much I fear in life but in relation to pride, perhaps so. There is much in my life for others.... but ... read more Saturday (Day 45) 16 y
March 22, beginning of a new habit
Queue Dramatic Music:
This is the new phase of me. From out of this frustrated shell will emerge a glorious butterfly submerged in the light of victory. We will see that day that....
*record skips*
Ok, I wish I knew the famous song that is in my head for that. Anyway.....
I have asked for the means to come my way, the means for me to have the eating habits, the figure and the health I want. I’ve been actively searching for some of this and found what seems EXTREMELY obvious but useful nontheless. The lovely Law of Attraction forum had a link to the 4 Golden Rules of eating ... read more Friday (Day 44) 16 y
Frustrated, Sad...
Yeah, so it’s all out here in the open. It’s a little embarassing. It’s funny, I know how to lose weight. I have different ways I can do it. What I don’t know how to do is create the habits in myself that keep me consistently skinny and healthy...
I believe that people come in to this world with challenges. When they’ve figured something out, they can go to the next challenge. If they don’t successfully navigate the challenge in this life, it remains in the next until they master it. I believe in reincarnation. We are here to learn. We will learn from different perspectives. as ... read more contemplating still... 16 y
...and running in circles, it would seem...
I’m starting to read some things that I hope will help me get a handle on this food thing. I saw one guy’s writings with a phrase about how he stopped attacking his body to try to overcome a limitation of the mind... basically it meant that of course the temporary fixes can work, heck I myself have lost weight on diets and cleanses, but as he says and as makes sense, it will only be permanent by changing one’s way of thinking. It makes sense but still begs the question: how? I try to but more thinking into it and it backfires, I try to relax with the intention to eat healthy and I’m to ... read more Need to find a new tack... 16 y
So back to the food thing - I keep coming back to this b/c I'm not making the progress I would like.
So back to the food thing - I keep coming back to this b/c I’m not making the progress I would like. One thing I have changed over the past 2 years is that the content of my diet is way healthier. I’ve done a lot of focusing on and finding healthy foods that I like. Of course there is also the focusing on foods part, meaning I still eat too much. I think I always have, and they say moderation, etc. It’s odd b/c I can fast, do a cleanse or follow a strict diet at times, often in an attempt to fix this but my day to day dietary habits are not where I would like them to be. I need to fi ... read more Wednesday - still not feeling well 16 y
Working on improvement... hoping physically things get better after I'm done being sick...
Yukky sinus pressure is persisting. I’m at work. I’m really into getting these projects done right at work. Yesterday I did well with my work attitude, held back a negative remark that I would’ve let go before and was decent to the guy who takes *so* much patience... so that’s better than before. :-) In the end I would like people to have thought I was kind. A few people might think I get testy at times... hopefully overall I’ll be able to have left a good impression when I’m done for the people I have trouble with. Other than those few who frustrate me, I do believe that I make peo ... read more |