Sunday (Day 52) by Roooth Blog entry

Blog: Stating my Intentions
by Roooth

Sunday (Day 52)

Hey a girl wants what she wants...

Date: 3/30/2008 4:20:51 PM ( 16 y ) ... viewed 2151 times

So I started this trying to see if by focusing or affirming my positive desires, that would be enough to put me on the right path to slenderness and health and to not fighting with food anymore. While my attitude and feeling on food has become more relaxed, I have not moved towards my goal weight in pounds. I've never believed that either psychology or biology stood alone in a cause and effect relationship to most (if not all) things in our lives. This is not different.

Some approaches say that you can't deny yourself any one thing but in general eat well. I tried to take that approach to the point where I enjoy eating good foods but essentially I'll eat what I want as long as I'm truly hungry. I thought this might be good and it worked when I didn't happen to eat a trigger food. When I had something that was a trigger food (like a cookie that I love when there are more cookies available), this would trigger eating more cookies, then eating anything else when the cookies are no longer available, aka, in my tummy. :-( Hmmm... not so good. I still am utilizing psychology of course because a physical change doesn't help either. I had been on a strict diet, lost weight nicely, but could not maintain good eating habits when I went to what should have been a more healthy diet.

At this point I still want to be relaxed yet try have some level of restriction. This is a tight rope walk: relaxed in attitude and not let the restriction cause a backlash. I suppose this is the crux of dieting issues for most people. Being too relaxed got me on a bad path and when I get in binge-mode I don't even truly enjoy it. Even being aware of that fact, I'm compelled. Not coincidentally, my easiest time is in the morning when I've not yet ate.

Today I was thinking of liquid fasting all day. It is 11:14am and I've had water and an alkalizing drink. I think this would be a good start. I could do that all today, some OJ tomorrow and start trying to eat more healthy again. More salads for me. I find that I'm far more willing to eat salads a lot if I get avacado on them.

My intentions:

I still intend to build a good relationship with food and eating, not feeling deprived when I skip sweets because in the end, they don't make me feel physically good anyway.

I want to be able to eat sensibly and to maintain the weight that I want for myself.

I want to be healthy and energetic and be able to exercise and be active.

I thank my body for it's contribution so far both in giving me the ability to be active and energetic, and in it's ability to affirm my looks-ego! :-)

My body is good to me.

For school, I still intend for $100,000 to come my way to fund my schooling so I can go full time as a grad student. This is one of the things I want most in life - the think I currently want with more passion than anything else (that I don't already have).

What I want in order: 1) Happy marriage - got it! 2) Healthy warm friendships and relationships with those around me - got it! 3) The ability to go to grad school full time!!!!! This is sooooooo important to me. I feel such passion when I think about doing this, moving towards my ultimate life goal and my career change, heading in a direction of accelerated spiritual growth which I shunned before out of fear. How exciting it is to be able to move in that direction now! 4)Looks and health. Hey, I want what I want! 5) Success in my current career until making it to my new career.