No need to apologize.

I loved God all my life, even before I knew His name. My life wasn't perfect, but the Lord let me make all my decisions as long as they weren't contrary to His Spirit (no complaints, His grace is sufficient for me).

I went to a bible study at a born again spirit-filled church and the leader of the bible study was bragging about having endured his divorce one year earlier. I purposely didn't say anything because I definitely wouldn't have contained myself. I never thought I would hear any decent person on earth brag about a divorce let alone hear the MAN of the household (who is ultimately responsible for the disposition of the family). He was not the victim of the divorce, he was the victim of his own irresponsibility. I was "not encouraged", dismayed, turned off, even heartbroken, I hoped I could expect better from my christian family. It is not as though it is none of my business (COLLECTIVELY, I am one of his victims, so I can relate to his two children as the real victims,...stats for divorced children are that most suffer Depression beyond 30). Sometimes, christians can be VERY different, some are the victims of the other's past deeds, yet unlike the American Civil War where, very often, buddies and family members found each other to be enemies, we the brethren don't have the option of animosity. I hold no malice against him, not by command of the Lord (not completely anyway, I probably would if not for His command), but because the Lord has always taught me better,... that revenge is senseless because it can't change the the past or erase the consequences of the present or future, and that is what really matters, the consequences that people suffer, not how guilty they feel (and whether they selfishly want forgiveness from me).

The leader of that bible study doesn't need my forgiveness because I am only COLLECTIVELY one of his victims (nobody can forgive what has been done to another person), but I don't even hold any malice against him beceause, all my life, the Lord taught me well to respect (love) my fellow human being. Think about that . I don't know the exact meaning of the song ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG (there are many versions), but I imagine it's somewhere along the line of what Paul said,..."I die every day". Allowing your persecutor (and the persecutor of your fellow human beings) to escape the justice of your conscience requires that you sacrifice a peice of yourself everyday (we forsake our conscience daily in order to forgive, we deny our right to compassion and the respect due a stranger). The hard part about forgiving another person, is that it is equivalent to SENTIMENTAL suicide (I differentiate from 'emotional') because we are, in effect sentencing ourselves to the consequences we are suffering. Not easy, huh?.

Christians can be VERY different. Some are each other's victims in one way or another, some understand because the Lord gave them trials (because He knew they would choose to learn), some had different experiences because the Lord had different plans for them, but we all meet in His body and have to develop relationships.

I think this forum might not be a bad place to learn.


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