Re: We're on the same page...:-)

Don't know what "religion" you guys are refering to but the Bible says we are to forgive others that our Father in heaven will forgive us. Forgiveness doesn't mean that we allow an offender to walk all over us. Forgiveness is for the person forgiving...it releases bitterness and hostility...lethal things that can cause a miriad of problems ...physical, emotional and spiritual...and it releases the Holy Spirit to do a work in the offender's life.

Regarding parents and respecting them: Yes, the bible says we need to respect our parents. They are the authority that God has set up and have an awesome responsibility in bringing up children. If they do wrong against their children then God will hold them accountable. We are to show them respect as our parents but that doens't mean if they demand something from us that goes against biblical principles that we are to do what they say.

I have always had a bit of a volitile relationship with my mother. I've hated her at times. In these past few years I've had to deal with this....basically because I have my own children and do not want this passed down to them to come back on me. You reap what you sow, you know. So through prayer and meditation on the Word I've been able to forgive my mother and understand that she may never change and be the ultimate mom I would have liked to have. Sometimes when we talk on the phone she still says things meant as a slam to me. I laugh them off now...or if I'm having a bad day I will tell her what she said is inappropriate...but I still show her respect in that if she needs my help for something I will go help her. I plant her a garden every year for mother's day...I deal with her crap as best I can and show her sompassion where I can. Why? because how can she see Christ if I can't demonstrate Christ-like love toward her? And in showing her love, the bitterness that I could have held inside melts away. I am blessed for my sacrifice.

Regarding the OP and their problem...I will tell you the same thing I've told others. You may have had satan as your parent. Now you are an adult and your life is in your own hands. Each decision you make will have a lasting effect on your life and YOU are the one responsible for that. If you choose to stay and "use" your mom you will only resent her more...and continue to blame her for all the things you hate about yourself.

I suggest taking steps to cut the umbilical cord. I know it is scary because then you will not have her to blame for your faliures...and you will have times when you fail. But you will also experience freedom and life and perhaps you will be able to see things from a different perspective and understand that maybe your mom didn't try so hard to derail your life...maybe life for her while you were growing up wasn't a bowl of cherries.

Get going and grow up and you will see things from an adult perspective and hopefully gain some insight into your circumstances.

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