Re: No, you underestimate yourself.

I must confess, I also was aware that I wasn't doing what was necessary to "conform" to this world and "it's ways" since childhood, but that's because it just wasn't in my heart to be the way this world was (it's almost like God spoiled me by letting me know where I really came from, the contrast was horrible, dysfunctional family with parents that were not meant for each other). Life quickly became a nightmare and I grew up suicidal, yet I would not accept GUILT (almost,...suicidal) for doing anything that I shouldn't have ("wrong")...my life, I make my choices as I want to, no regrets, no apologies, I am who I am (God doesn't begrudge anyone their life and their choices, MAN/society does that and "expects" us to succumb to THEIR will). I never killed myself because I won't murder anybody else, therefore I won't do it to myself either (good sense of justice).

Stop making the choice to feel guilty. Let SELF exonerate SELF. You can only be considered guilty (of just about everything and anything, according to society) if you allow yourself to be judged (or judge yourself) by MAN'S laws of properness (codes of table manners, dress codes, violations of etiquette, etc.). With conscience, SELF does nothing wrong ("I am who I am" is God's name forever, and He will not begrudge you your life). Even the TEN Commandments are a code,..code of perfection, what genuine use does God have for a CODE...God is LOVE (misunderstood by all humanity).

You are not guilty of anything. You do not deserve a penalty of any kind. You do not deserve to be cut.

Of course you couldn't wish harm on anyone else (so who could JUSTLY wish harm on you?). Only God has the right to serve justice (and the courts) and decide whether you deserve a penalty. You are circumventing justice when you cut yourself (you do that because you have the heart of a "sacrificial lamb", God bless you). God does not agree with your decision to cut yourself and He waits for you to stop.