Re: Thank you so much!

Yeah just watch out for the time that he "circles back around" - please don't overestimate your strength - grief takes time, give yourself some time - try to picture his REAL future if he continues as he is - stand very tall and elegantly every where you go, if you know what I mean - I guess what I am saying is - Remember your Dignity. Do not allow your beautiful Spirit to sink by groveling to this man, EVER again. To strip your dignity by lowering your head in shame as this ass heaps torrents of foul abuse on you is a sin to the Higher Self. Sounds all holy-roller, but it is not. It is the truth. Remember the awful feeling of pleading with him, explaining to him how important your feelings are, defending the VERY ESSENCE of what you are, while he stood, ugly, smug and superior to you as he spewed hatred on you - oh yeah, all in the name of "Love". He "loved" you. Bull****. I love you - don't even know you - but I love you enough to never demean you or strip your dignity. (for you are me - I have been there, Trystan, I swear)

Why are there people like him?? I have wailed that question to the skies, beat the steering wheel in my car screaming that question to the heavens. I don't even care why today. I just don't want them around me. As a result I have found a whole world of people who wouldn't DREAM of treating people that way. Some of them are people who have come out of some hellish childhoods like I have, and they would never treat unkindly intentionally. (do not forget, his actions are deliberate, no matter what he says to you - I read the post where he was screaming in your face "do you think I would hit you??" well, YEAH!! - and I got a real sick knot in my stomach, as I remember being TERRIFIED when that happened to me - I have not had to be terrified for 3 years now - DELIBERATE ACTION ON HIS PART, CALCULATED TO DRAG YOU DOWN BENEATH HIS ALREADY LOW LEVEL, THAT HE MAY BE OMNIPOTENT AND SUPERIOR)

If you take the time and do the work, you will understand some of what drives him, lots of what drives you, but that knowing doesn't give you the power to make him better. Your love is not the force that this man needs to heal. You will know you have come far when you no longer feel the need to explain life or what's wrong with him to him, when you are able to hope for his wellness without being involved at all in his life, and when you kinda don't care if he gets well or not! You don't need to point out the "better life" to him - he will find it on his own, when he is motivated to change. It is a tragedy to know people like this, the Grand Masters of their Horrible, Self-Righteous, Ego-Driven Lives. They stay in a nasty self-created misery and call it good and right - we all know what it really is. You will know that you are REALLY doing good if you run into him, reject him, and he tells all his friends what a "cold-hearted bitch" you are. That is a blessing! I LOVE being in the Cold Hearted Bitch Club! It means guys like him can't manipulate me anymore, and they know it! My boyfriend of 2 years doesn't think I am, at all. hmmm

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