No, you underestimate yourself.

If you've ever heard about the "Three Blind Mice" and how they would "see no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil", it's like a Greek tragedy, everybody draws their own morale of the story according to their heart. People with a warm, kind heart will tend not to SEE evil "under every rock", neither do they want to believe (HEAR) anything that is incriminating against others (no wish to harm others), nor will they unjustly and enthusiastically SPEAK against others. Unfortunately, that means that the warm-hearted and kind person will also tend to be naive and vulnerable. But realize that not having any wish to cause harm to OTHERS also means that there will be a tendency to transfer THEIR guilt to yourself (because this world does disturb any decent person's conscience). Know yourself (you are a warm-hearted, kind, gentle and conscientious person) and necessarily have a good sense of justice (but are of course unwilling to inflict justice on him,...GOOD, remain that way, he will get his), but don't transfer his guilt on to yourself (but neither deny justice it's due if he is ever brought into court).

Understand yourself, know yourself, preserve and appreciate who you are.
You do not deserve to be cut or harmed in any way (you don't deserve other people's justice, you did nothing wrong). Always be OBJECTIVE and realize who is TRULY the guilty party.

A TRULY (genuinely) guilty person that is deserving of a PENALTY will have:

1) INTENTIONALLY caused harm to

2) ANOTHER person (in cutting yourself, you have not caused harm to ANOTHER person, so you are not deserving of a PENALTY). Ultimately, everyone is within their rights to cut themselves, but of course, I deny everyone their right to do that, but neither would I issue you a penalty.

(when I first read that you cut yourself and took some pills, I thought you cut yourself by ACCIDENT and took some pills to calm yourself (sorry, I misunderstood, I didn't want to see or hear evil in what you wrote).

Very often, we are more than willing to inflict a penalty on ourselves for what other people are really guilty of, but that is because we subconsciously accept the role as "sacrificial lamb" for the one who really deserves the penalty (does this remind you of anyone?).