I think I overestimated my strength :(

Last night my world came crashing in on me..a bunch of other stuff happened (my car broke down AGAIN-Im already 3 grand in debt from fixing it the last time-I need it for my job), my credit cards are maxed out and if I dont get my car back im out of a job and basically out on the streets.
It was just too much...Im at full emotional capacity with all these horrible feelings I have from him...I just snapped and did some stupid things..cut myself and took some pills...scared the crap out of my best friend. I feel lower now than ever..and I hate it so much...I hate that Ive let him do this to me..I hate that I put my entire self into our relationship and let him destroy me and then leave me to rot. I once again made the mistake of trying to talk to him last night but he was too busy partying to give me the time. So so stupid. Why would I think he would care? Why do I keep wanting him to care when he wont.

I guess im just hitting rock bottom...pretty much losing everything I have to lose..cant get much lower anyways. "when you have nothing you have nothing to lose" I guess....