Re: hehe weird

I just read the whole thread and it sounds a bit like a person I have been with when I was about 23. It wasnt physical abuse the way that some here experienced it but a very intimidating and manipulative way the person had. I could say so much about it.

Looking back at my own story andhearing you I must say that I believe the beginning of your attempts of cleaning up your life and control the drinking and smoking was probably the beginning of a cleanup in a larger scale. All of the sudden or rather slowly your body and mind understands what isnt good for you and it will slowly step by step change these habits. Well, your boyfriend was one of them and didnt fit into who you are now....maybe once he did fit in when you were weak and dependant of many things. You sound far too strong for him now. But its like quitting smoking- it's not easy and there are many traps. You cleaned up (or still are) you life and I am sure you will soon attract the kind of people who will sense that you have come to terms with yourself and that you will not tolerate abuse in any way.

I think its also important to understand that it is well possible that you love this guy (i think of this old boyfriend of mine I still have a lot of feelings) but that just isnt enough to be together. You should always love yourself more. What I mean is, he sure has his reasons for being like that and he sure is suffering and has aq good side to himself. So be it. maybe he can be good for someone else but he sure isnt good for you....

Hope you keep your direction! Good luck!