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1/21/14: Day 2 of Water fast - Still going strong! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 21, 2014
“I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed!” ~William Shakespeare
Day 2 of Water fast (Started January 20, 2014)
I am armed with knowledge and passion to achieve what I put my heart into. That is one reason why at times, I am more of a winner when it comes to accomplishing goals or dreams and some people that I am around. D. is always talking about wanting to do this and do that, but I never see him follow though with his goals. At least I try to set up some type of action plan, so I can see where I am going with something. It is how I ... read more 1/20/14: Day 1 of Water Fast - Determined and ready! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 20, 2014
“All alone! Whether you like it or not, alone is something you’ll be quite a lot!”
~Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You’ll Go! and The Lorax
Day 1 of Water fast (Started January 20, 2014)
Today is the first day of my 15 day water fast. I am determined and ready for this! Well, I am just going week by week, until I hit 15 days just in case, I decide to break my fast early if I can’t handle the detoxification once it hits. Am I excited? Yes, a little. Am I confident? Yes, I am, to a point. I don’t know how long I will be able to fast. I would love to fast longer than 1 ... read more 1/19/14: Sometimes being alone allows you to focus. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 19, 2014
“All great and precious things are lonely.” ~ John Steinbeck, East of Eden
Day 5 of Pre-fast ( 1 days until water fast launch – January 20th.)
Loneliness reeks. Long weekends alone reek too. I have to stop thinking about how I could have spend it with D. I felt bad once I found out that D. was ill yesterday. He finally texted me to tell me that he got sick twice and wasn’t feeling that great. At least that explained his silence mostly. I was wonder if he was irritated with J. for canceling at the last moment. I guess it was a good thing that he didn’t spend that ... read more 1/18/14: Disappointed, lonely and wondering. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 18, 2014
“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.” ~ Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Day 4 of Pre-fast ( 2 days until water fast launch – January 20th.)
I hate to say that the start of a Saturday in disappointment is never a good start of the day. D. really didn’t say much to me after J. canceled our get together. I think he was really disappointed too. J. texted me off and on. She apologized for canceling and explained herself. I told her that it was okay, that I understood. A person can only take so much. She told that the guys knew about coming up to ... read more 1/17/14: Excitement with the coming long weekend! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 17, 2014
“I like it when somebody gets excited about something. It’s nice.”
~ J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye
Day 3 of Pre-fast (3 or 4 days until water fast launch – January 19th or January 20th.)
I am excited because today is an awesome day for me. I get paid. I give myself $20.00 for my savings and I just found out that J. and the Cowboy want me to come up tonight! So I won’t be doing any of my evening stuff, at least I don’t think I will be. Maybe a little bit of reading or knitting, but no cleaning or picking up, etc. YES!! Time with D.!
I deposited my ... read more 1/16/14: Happy day! I lost a pound and things are great!! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 16, 2014
“He who controls the past controls the future. He who controls the present controls the past.”
~George Orwell, 1984
Day 2 of Pre-fast (4 or 5 days until water fast launch – January 19th or January 20th.)
I am in control of my life. I know my life isn’t the best and not always what I want it to be. I guess there are a lot of things that I silently dream about. I wish I had a man in my life all the time. Someone that I could come home to. You know, some one I could cook for, and talk about various things with. Someone I could enjoy video games with or go camping ... read more 1/15/14: Things are brightening up for me. Moving forward! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 15, 2014
“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt
Day 1 of Pre-fast (5 or 6 days until water fast launch – January 19th or January 20th.)
I have to say that I have been feeling a little bit better about myself. I don’t know what it might be. Maybe is that I am trying very hard to move forward toward something in my life. Maybe it is because D. gives me hope (I know that always makes me feel good about myself). What ever it is, I feel that I have been improving a little at a time regarding certain things in my life. Some o ... read more 1/14/14: Failure, but it doesn't mean I'm giving up! 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 14, 2014
“I often stood in front of the mirror alone, wondering how ugly a person could get.” ~ Charles Bukowski, Ham on Rye
I failed. I hate to say that I have failed. I crumbled around 10:30 p.m. Last night after I had been talking to a long friend, B. W. on the phone. Maybe it was because I was feeling good about myself. Maybe it was because I wanted to comfort myself. Maybe, just maybe is because I was hungry and lost my will power. I didn’t eat much. I had about a cup of steamed veggies and a whole pint of black raspberries. I nibbled on some deli ribs, as I really want ... read more 1/13/14: Day 1 of Water Fast - HUNGRY!! VERY HUNGRY
10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 13, 2014
Day 1 of Water fast
“Love is hard to find, hard to keep, and hard to forget.” ~ Alysha Speer
I have to say that my heart is heavy. Maybe it is because the Cowboy hasn’t said much to me. He did say something to me Friday. Just “You have been awful quiet lately.” I told him that I was having a bad couple days. Actually, a horrible couple days because he isn’t talking to me and it hurts when it seems that I am talking to myself. Sigh. I know that I probably shouldn’t love him still but I do. And that is what damaging me the most. It is such a simple thing.
I real ... read more 1/12/14: Feeling down and without purpose. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 12, 2014
“To be me is to be different...” ~ Robert Fanney, Dreams of the Ringed Vale
I know that I am different, and that is probably one reason why I am alone this far in my life. Just because I believe in moving toward and working on something of substance, and not just jump on the band wagon of love or rash decisions as others might. Maybe that is because I have no one to catch me if I fall. I have to be responsible and think things out, because there is no one that would step up and take care of me if something horrible happen. It is sad and almost pathetic.
One reason ... read more 1/11/14: Simple Saturdays are the best. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 11, 2014
“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
I woke up early, which wasn’t too bad, but I have to say that I really wanted some fast food like McDonald’s breakfast. I am sure going to miss that for a year. I laid in about 7 a.m. And wondering what I could do. I didn’t want to cook this morning and I wanted to get out. I was mulling around the idea about going to Subway for breakfast, as it isn’t on my Fast Food list. I guess I should go through the list as to what my resolution is. My ... read more 1/10/14: Goals take everyday work, little by little. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 10, 2014
“Having someone wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night is a very old human need. ” ~ Margaret Mead
I slept good, and it probably was because it was much warmer then it has been the last couple days. I really don’t heat my trailer (Yes, I live in a stupid trailer, but I own it so at least it is something and affordable) as high as many other might. I haven’t used my gas since P. lived with me as he didn’t help me with the bill (Yet loved to have the heat set to almost 80 degrees). So I got it shut off and have been using space heaters to keep part of ... read more 1/9/14: Depression is setting in and I am fighting it. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 9, 2014
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” ~ Oscar Wilde
I haven’t felt much like eating today, I ate more yesterday then I have today. I probably is that depression is gripping hold of me. I know it is more a heartache for me then outside things. I have been trying to work on my weekly goals, but those are even hard for me.
My heart was really heavy this morning to the point I didn’t want to get out of Bed at all. Mekong was snuggled up against me and I wished it was Saturday instead of Thursday so I could just stay in bed. Well, ... read more 1/8/14: The days are long and the nights are longer. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 8, 2014
“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” ~Robert Frost
The day was lonely and sad. Maybe it is because J. texted me and complained that N. and the Cowboy went home. I know she miss being with N, but gosh, he loves her and spends time with her. What else could a person want? All I told her is that she has more then what I have with D. He hasn’t said more then 3 words to me in 4 days. At least N. tells J. that he loves her. I don’t get that at all.
Sigh. I really hate my life. Mostly because the 4 days I spend with D. have been ... read more 1/7/14: Trying to find a happy medium with my life. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 7, 2014
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde
I try to be myself, but I find out that no one is interested in who I am. I am too weird for some or too “goody two shoes” for others. There is no happy medium to me. I am happier when I am around a certain person, but I am just a friend to him when he needs to socialize. Is it sad that I just saw him on January 4th, and he hasn’t said much to me since? I should know better.
I am always more depressed and full of saddness around this time of year. Maybe it is because for about 4 ˝ days I saw two people ... read more 1/6/14: Back to work and setting goals. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 6, 2014
“We dream to give ourselves hope. To stop dreaming - well, that’s like saying you can never change your fate.” ~ Amy Tan, The Hundred Secret Senses
I wish at times I could stop dreaming. Maybe I could be much happier then I am. I just feel that the last year has been nothing but a disappointment. I know that is negative, but it is so hard to feel positive when my heart yearns for so much more in life. People are around me are getting married, engaged, and having babies. And what I am doing? Nothing, nothing at all. I wish I could be holding hands with D. or saying t ... read more 1/5/14: Trying to cherish what I have. 10 y
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
January 5, 2014
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou
First day home since spending 4 ˝ days with the Cowboy, his brother and his brother’s girlfriend. I got stranded up there, as there was a huge snow fall, and it was too dangerous for me to drive home. I tried 2 times on New Year’s Day, but the roads were too bad, even the the highway. So I called J. and told me and she told me to come back. So I spend more time with D. then I expected.
The party was AWESOME! We had to go to a couple ... read more |