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1/13/14: Day 1 of Water Fast - HUNGRY!! VERY HUNGRY
My daily journey toward a healthier lifestyle, a happier life and finding peace in my own world.
Date: 1/13/2014 5:09:32 PM ( 10 y ) ... viewed 9839 times January 13, 2014
Day 1 of Water fast
“Love is hard to find, hard to keep, and hard to forget.” ~ Alysha Speer
I have to say that my heart is heavy. Maybe it is because the Cowboy hasn't said much to me. He did say something to me Friday. Just “You have been awful quiet lately.” I told him that I was having a bad couple days. Actually, a horrible couple days because he isn't talking to me and it hurts when it seems that I am talking to myself. Sigh. I know that I probably shouldn't love him still but I do. And that is what damaging me the most. It is such a simple thing.
I really need to stop thinking about D. It is just so very hard. :( I miss him. I haven't see him since January 5 and he hasn't said much to me since I have seen him.
These are my goals for the week. I have accomplished two already (yesterday)
WEEKLY GOALS FOR JANUARY 12th – JANUARY 18th, 2014:
1. Work on Budget
2. Write in Journal 7 times
3. Finish a book
4. Crochet at least 5 times (Bickles, blankets, granny squares)
5. Read the Bible at least 7 times
6. Save $20.00 in savings
9. Get a rough idea for steam punk costume for Time Traveler's ball
10. Start Water Fast ( 6 days – January 13th -January 18th )
WORK ON BUDGET: I worked on my Budget yesterday and got it all written down in my notebook. So I am already until Friday when I pay out my bills unless I purchase something during the week, in order to write down the receipt. I am very happy that I got this done.
WRITE IN JOURNAL 7 TIMES: I am proud to say that I wrote in my morning pages (3 pages) this morning before I did anything.
FINISH A BOOK: I have already finished a book. I finished Hercules: The Vengeance of Hera by John Gregory Betancourt yesterday. I bought the book on Saturday and started it on Saturday but finished it on Sunday. I should be finishing another book this week. Prisoner of the Horned Helmet by James Silke and Frank Frazetta should be finished by Wednesday.
CROCHET 5 TIMES: I haven't done any crochet yet.
READ BIBLE 7 TIMES: Sadly can say that I haven't done any Bible reading. I don't know what my problem is. I guess just diving into it isn't very exciting to me at the moment. Reading anything with the Bible doesn't seem very “Me” at the moment.
SAVE $20.00 IN SAVINGS: I am looking forward to putting another $20.00 in my savings. Soon I will have $40.00 in there!
ROUGH OUT STEAMPUNK COSTUME IDEA: I have looked a couple of ideas, but I am still trying to flesh out an idea that I want to portray. It isn't an easy to do.
START WATER FAST: I have to say that I am really, really, really hungry. I would love to have some steamed veggies right now. My stomach is rumbling and my chest hurts a little bit, which means I am really hungry as well. It is hard to go cold chicken like this into a water fast. I haven't drank a lot of water yet today, as I have been so tired. I don't know if it is because Mekong keep me up romping around the bed late at night while I was trying to sleep. She was playing with her Brown Hair band (It once was mine, but she stole it) and she pounced on my head twice. I really can't get upset with her, as she is 13 years old and she doesn't play like that much anymore, so it was kind of nice to see her so rambunctious. I am really tired, and I think it is because I haven't had much processed sugar in a week. I can't remember that last time I had anything that had a lot of sugar in it other than natural sugar like apples. I had some Vodka Gummy bears at the beginning of the year, but I think that has been it. So I am really tired and I really want to have a couple apple slices to pick up my energy. But I can't since I have decided to fast until at least January 18th. I would like to fast until January 27th, (which would be 15 days) if I can make it. But right now I am just taking one day and one week at a time at this point in time. I am hoping to be around 135 pounds before I start to break the fast with juice. I think if I play it right, I might be able to ward off the major detox symptoms with juice and continue on fasting until February 9th (which would be 28 days) which would be GRAND. But that is pushing it too much. I am sure my detox symptoms will be very strong. And I will break the fast around the 27th of January and take a small break and take another fast, just like I did last year.
MY FOOD LOG FOR January 13, 2014
BREAKFAST: None
SNACK: None
DRINK: Water
LUNCH: None
DRINK: Water
SNACK: None
DINNER: None
Gosh, I really don't want to post, this as it is horrible. I was doing so good during the summer, as I was about 135 pounds for the longest time.
Sigh, here it is.
Weight: 150 pounds
At the navel: 35.50 inches
Narrowest at the waist: 34.50 inches
Widest at the hips: 40.50 inches
My neck: 13.50 inches
The Navy body fat formula says that I have a fat percentage of 36.76%
The YMCA formula says that I have a fat percentage of 37.46%
BMI: 28.4
It is a horrible to look at. I guess that is why I am wanting to do this. I really need to get my act together. I know that D. doesn't like chunky women, and I am becoming very chunky. I guess having depression and eating at times to comfort myself doesn't help either. I hope to break these horrible cycle. I guess I shouldn't complain too much as my weight is not as bad as some people I have seen. I am just average and I want to be back what I was years ago (115 pounds). I will just have to work hard at it with water fasting to start it off, exercising to tone and burn fat, and eating right to keep it off.
Maybe if I felt better about myself, I wouldn't feel so horrible and be depressed. I told J. this when we talked about D. Maybe if I felt like he cared about me or maybe if anyone cared, I might not feel like I am so worthless and useless in this world. I know it is horrible. I guess that is why I use this as an outlet, because I am not one to reveal how I feel to others. I hate to see other people's faces when other's complain about their issues. At lot of times, it is a look of “God, not that again. All she does is complain about this and that.” I have heard other people make fun other others' behind their backs. I really don't want people to do that to me. I guess that is why I keep mine to myself. They are my issues and no one really needs to know a whole lot. Not like a lot of people have to the time to care about others, as they are too busy with their own lives.
I guess I am just whining because I am hungry and I am lonely. Two things that never go well together. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
DAILY MORALE: Low
POSITIVE THING: Some guy that I don't know asked me how my day was. It was nice to be noticed.
EXERICISE: Walking,3.10 Miles , 20 squats
WATER INTAKE: approximately 12 ounces
WEIGHT: 150 pounds
INITIAL STARTING WEIGHT: 150 pounds (1/13/14)
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