Just lover her MORE!?!?!

I'm so sorry to hear that your husband refuses to be proactive.  Loving a child "more" is NOT the answer, here - the mother was diagnosed BiPolar which, for all intents and purposes, is genetic.  BiPolar disorder can be managed without medications by conscientious victims who are willing to put in time and practice on management techniques.

If this man is unwilling to face the issues facing his own offspring and chooses to remain in denial, as it apparently seems, you've gotten yourself into a world of trouble, along with your own child.  Get YOURSELF into counseling, as this is going to be a bumpy, ugly ride for you, for a while.

Best of luck to you!