Re: Get counseling, ASAP!

I forgot to mention this: there are always 2 sides of every story. My separation/divorce was no different than zillions of others - acrimony, vengence, fabrications, manipulations, etc. The only possible difference was that my ex is an abusive narcissist and was able to convince everyone that he was reasonable, rational, loving, caring, etc., and couldn't imagine why I would have left him: I had "gone lesbo" is what he told our children and mutual friends, among other inconsistent things.

During our proceedings, I did not discuss adult issues with our children, AT ALL. When they would demand to know why they weren't able to spend their child support on video games, I simply told them, "If your father sends a check with YOUR name on it, you may spend the money the way you wish, within reason." The response to all inqiries by children was, "You are not responsible for those issues and I will not be discussing them with you."

Often, the issues that underly an unsuccessful relationship are forced upon an unwitting child. They don't really want to know the details - they only want to know that the divorce wasn't their fault.

SO, be aware of the core issues, insist that your husband take a proactive role, YOU be the "fun" mom, and leave the parenting to the child's biological parents, and get into some individual counseling, quick.

Again, best of luck to you! Tweet