Re: Slight problem

1.  It is certainly not a slight problem.  

2.  "But can you grow to love somebody??"  After 8 years?!!  In the famous words of John McEnroe, "You cannot be serious."

3.  You focus on all he has given you as far as things and lifestyle, but you don't speak of how he makes you feel, does he build you up, make you feel loved, support you emotionally?  Did he ever?

4.  You never said how it was in the beginning, was their passion and romance and crazy love?  maybe by omitting that, you did say?

5.  You didn't mention his looks, just his body.  Is there a reason?  Is his face attractive enough?

6.   "I love the life he has allowed me to have."  This sounds like you are dependent on a man for income, do you not like to work yourself or do you have no education or training?

7.  "He's had his share of lumps in his life but they seem to have made him a better man instead of filling him up with resentment."  Is there some hidden meaning in that we should know about?

8.  "Is it possible that someone can be too good."  Refer to my John McEnroe comment above.

9.  "I don't want to lose him but I know he's planning an escape. And I don't blame him."  This is probably the most important sentence in your whole post.  Are you afraid of losing money and things.  It also could be that old saying, "I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him.", maybe both.  Maybe you like the attention he gives you.  It doesn't sound like you are afraid of being alone, sounds like you have no problem attracting men.  What is the reason you two are not getting marriage counseling?  If you really don't want to lose him, you will have to change and that will require getting to the bottom of your issues.  You will need indivdual couseling or Dr. Phil. 

10.  "it was always with someone I knew I wouldn't want a long term relationship with."   There is an old saying...When a guy says he never wants to get married, it means he does not want to marry you.  In reversing that to your gender, I would venture to say those guys were not Mr. Right and it sounds like your current husband may not be either;  Either that, or you have committment  and/or intimacy issues, maybe you have them from an abusive childhood (you did not mention it).  BUT, what about husband numbers 1 and 2?  Did you go through all this with them, too.   

11.  Why are you on your 3rd marriage?  What happened with the other two?

12.  why can't I allow the intimacy?  Um, well, for one, you say you have no attraction to him physically.  That is a starting point to discuss with a professional counselor. 

13.  "I know this sounds trivial and can't compare to the "real" problems others on this forum have but any suggestions would be appreciated."  There is perhaps a lot of significance in this sentence.  My intuition says you want us to cut you a break on your strange behaviors.  If that is the case, I will be honest and tell you that some of them are Sociopathic .

14.  I think you need to face your fears and get a game plan, because I think he already is getting his in order.  If you really feel you would act this way with any man under the same circumstances, then maybe you two should get marriage counseling.  If it is just him you do not want to be with, then get some counseling for yourself, someone to figure out what you are going to do if he leaves.

15.  You seem to be omitting important info here that would enable us to give you a better assessment.