Slight problem

I know this can't compare to other posts on this forum but I have a problem I don't know what to do about.

How do I start this?

My husband is a wondeful guy. We've been together for 8 years now. I love the life he has allowed me to have. I'm a stay at home Mom and I love it. We have a nice home in the country on 8 acres. We vacation every year at the beach for 4-6 weeks. He always makes sure I have money in my pocket without me asking. I love the life he has given me.

He's in excellent physical shape, a very kind and loving person. He's had his share of lumps in his life but they seem to have made him a better man instead of filling him up with resentment.

Although I love the life he has given me I'm afraid he doesn't do a thing for me personally. His kiss does nothing for me, his caress does nothing for me, his attempts at romance I always sabotoge. The guy just doesn't turn me on. I even showed him how and what I like and when he does it it doesn't work.

Well, a couple of years ago he started withdrawing. Not real blatant, just enough to be aware of. A few months ago he started sleeping in the spare bedroom and now he doesn't even try to romance me or kiss me or even touch me. He's still very kind to me and makes sure I'm well provided for but I think he's getting ready to leave.

Either I love him but somehow won't allow the intimacy or I didn't really love him in the first place but loved what he did for my life.

He's a professional and wouldn't have any trouble finding someone new.

Is it possible that someone can be too good. I mean, this guy is almost perfect. And yes he is good in the bedroom. At three o'clock in the morning when I'm half asleep when there's no kissing or cuddling. He gives a great massage too but I won't allow that to turn into sex. I'm sabotoging myself with the best man I've ever known in my life. Why????? Or I didn't love him in the first place. But can you grow to love somebody??

He's 10 years older than I am but has taken good care of himself and looks 15 years younger than he is.

I don't want to lose him but I know he's planning an escape. And I don't blame him.

Three years before he came along I ended my second marriage and was a little too free for a while there and had no problem at all. But when I look back at those days it was always with someone I knew I wouldn't want a long term relationship with. Now that I've got a great man why can't I allow the intimacy? The kissing, cuddling and romance. Is it a guilt trip I'm putting myself on for using those guys after my second marriage? Or I didn't really love him in the first place but got confussed because he improved my life so much. Gave me the kind of life I've always dreamed of.

The problem is I just don't respond to any and all of his romantic advances. I freeze up. I won't allow it to happen. Why???

I know this sounds trivial and can't compare to the "real" problems others on this forum have but any suggestions would be appreciated.

S














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